These are just a few jokes forwarded to me by a friend of my..
Hope that it'll cheer you up as they do to me.
A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus,"
send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR
MOTHER"
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What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and
Mattress
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Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning
of WIFE??
Without Information Fighting Everytime
Wife replies," No, It means ,
With Idiot For Ever !!!"
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What's the difference between stress,
tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is
pregnant, and Panic is when both are
pregnant.
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Teacher: Do you know the importance of
a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has
missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a
heart attack & our driver ran away.
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A women asks man who is traveling with
six children, "Are all these kids
yours?"
The man replies, "No, I work in a
condom factory and these are customer
complaints!"
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A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the
difference between confident and
confidential.
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm
confident about that. Your friend over
there, is also my son, that's
confidential!
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Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Do we really care?
This post is dedicated to a lecturer who has just passed away last night.
Heart Attack. Myocaidial infarction? Not sure.
Never been taught by him, the only time I contacted him was when I applied to volunteering to the school vet clinic.
I heard that only one student attended his funeral.
Others? I dunno. Do we really care?
Another lecturer was very upset and disappointed. He had done a lot for the students, how 'bout us?
I dunno. Cause I never have a chance to be taught by him.
So who will care?
Will ya?
Heart Attack. Myocaidial infarction? Not sure.
Never been taught by him, the only time I contacted him was when I applied to volunteering to the school vet clinic.
I heard that only one student attended his funeral.
Others? I dunno. Do we really care?
Another lecturer was very upset and disappointed. He had done a lot for the students, how 'bout us?
I dunno. Cause I never have a chance to be taught by him.
So who will care?
Will ya?
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Are you " ball" enough?
Mainly meant for male viewer...50% evil..read at your own risk...
We are all living in a world of comparison.. Everyone is so kiasu.. everything we like to compare.. We compare our house, our bf/gf, our atm/ washing machine, our children , our dogs , our houses...etc and the list go on. Not forgetting our very own physical appearance-- skin , eyes, nehneh , kkc and sometimes ball(s) as well (if you have).
If once we find out that we are at the losing side, we, human being, tend to work hard and find a way out to "upgrade" ourselves .(No body wants to be a loser !) So some of us may change his/her gf/bf is car is not big enough, some send their children to the so -called children reconstruction centre , hoping that the "sifu" inside will change the children 's hippocampus (memory centre) so that it is more sensitive, some go for SK II whitening essence , other go for suntanned.
Once a while , you may find the desperate one may go for plastic surgery, A cup wanna upgrade to D cup , 5 " wanna upgrade ti 7", so and so.
Some decent fellow asked me if overexposure of sunlight might cause the gonads to expand.. I am not sure 'bout that.. but as what I have learnt about this animal kingdom.. Brucella might be the answer to it..
Proudly present to you --- Sheep testis (orchitis)
We are all living in a world of comparison.. Everyone is so kiasu.. everything we like to compare.. We compare our house, our bf/gf, our atm/ washing machine, our children , our dogs , our houses...etc and the list go on. Not forgetting our very own physical appearance-- skin , eyes, nehneh , kkc and sometimes ball(s) as well (if you have).
If once we find out that we are at the losing side, we, human being, tend to work hard and find a way out to "upgrade" ourselves .(No body wants to be a loser !) So some of us may change his/her gf/bf is car is not big enough, some send their children to the so -called children reconstruction centre , hoping that the "sifu" inside will change the children 's hippocampus (memory centre) so that it is more sensitive, some go for SK II whitening essence , other go for suntanned.
Once a while , you may find the desperate one may go for plastic surgery, A cup wanna upgrade to D cup , 5 " wanna upgrade ti 7", so and so.
Some decent fellow asked me if overexposure of sunlight might cause the gonads to expand.. I am not sure 'bout that.. but as what I have learnt about this animal kingdom.. Brucella might be the answer to it..
Proudly present to you --- Sheep testis (orchitis)See, the effect of Brucella ? Once infected.. the balls just increase in size tremendously (more than 5 times)! The normal size of the testes of a sheep is like a fist of a 5 feet lady's fist.
So why go for that expensive , high risk surgery? Promise no pain , and no charges on that! Just ask any of your friends who work with animals, help you to isolate some of the bacteria and inoculate it on your balls.. you may DIY too. Cool , isn't it?
Hence, you think you are not ball enough? Go for Brucella! Other alternatives -- E.coli, n Streptococcus.
So why go for that expensive , high risk surgery? Promise no pain , and no charges on that! Just ask any of your friends who work with animals, help you to isolate some of the bacteria and inoculate it on your balls.. you may DIY too. Cool , isn't it?
Hence, you think you are not ball enough? Go for Brucella! Other alternatives -- E.coli, n Streptococcus.
Guys , go and have more sunbath!
WARNING!! This post is 50% evil. Children , teenage who are under 18 must read with the companion of an adult..
During Physiology class...
Lecturer : The melatonin therefore affects the development of the gonads. Lack of melatonin can cause atrophy (= shrinkage) and also cessation of the development of the gonads(your reproductive organs * wink*)...
Hence, lesson of this lecture is-- guys , go and get more sun . You don't want your balls to shrink!
kekeke..
Saturday, March 24, 2007
A new day , A new Me!!
Believe it or not, today it's a big day for me. For I have made a decision, where there is no more point of return, no more turning back.
One way, One road, One Aim--- for one God!
It has been like aeons since I wrote my last entry in this blog.
So you can see, I really wanna make it BIG!
Did my sinner's prayer just now.
I may not change physically. Spiritually , I hope that I 'll be more and more up close and personal to Jesus Christ, My Saviour.
This option has been lingering around my head for a long long time, if I really wanna convert.
Last night went to church, and Father words just stroke me , right at the point.
The doubts that all the while "floating" in my mind is clear. The gloomy cloud is clear away. And now I see the light shining through the clouds and to me.
It's the people, the human that sinned, and sins and sinning; not God.
But I will still hold on my believe -- that no matter which religion you are in, who you are, what colour you belong to, and where you stand, if you believe in one God, that God would be the God that I believe too. We all believe in God, but we'll show it in a different way, we glorify Him in our very own livings, our cultures.
I have a choice to live in this way. It's nothing different from yours; it may diverse in its very own little way, but the path lead to the same destination.
I opt this path, this route.
How about you ?
One way, One road, One Aim--- for one God!
It has been like aeons since I wrote my last entry in this blog.
So you can see, I really wanna make it BIG!
Did my sinner's prayer just now.
I may not change physically. Spiritually , I hope that I 'll be more and more up close and personal to Jesus Christ, My Saviour.
This option has been lingering around my head for a long long time, if I really wanna convert.
Last night went to church, and Father words just stroke me , right at the point.
The doubts that all the while "floating" in my mind is clear. The gloomy cloud is clear away. And now I see the light shining through the clouds and to me.
It's the people, the human that sinned, and sins and sinning; not God.
But I will still hold on my believe -- that no matter which religion you are in, who you are, what colour you belong to, and where you stand, if you believe in one God, that God would be the God that I believe too. We all believe in God, but we'll show it in a different way, we glorify Him in our very own livings, our cultures.
I have a choice to live in this way. It's nothing different from yours; it may diverse in its very own little way, but the path lead to the same destination.
I opt this path, this route.
How about you ?
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Arrrghhhhh
亲爱的上帝，
我的脾气很暴躁，该如何是好呢？这样的我无法专心念书，好讨厌。明天叫要考试了，在这么下去，就要把我的pathology当掉了。
我是一只会喷火的恐龙。
请您赐予我力量与智慧，快快赶走那垴人，杂七八乱的恶魔。
我要静下心，好好念好我的书，快快把它统统都背起来。
阿们！
我的脾气很暴躁，该如何是好呢？这样的我无法专心念书，好讨厌。明天叫要考试了，在这么下去，就要把我的pathology当掉了。
我是一只会喷火的恐龙。
请您赐予我力量与智慧，快快赶走那垴人，杂七八乱的恶魔。
我要静下心，好好念好我的书，快快把它统统都背起来。
阿们！
Thursday, March 23, 2006
I am guilty
I know that I should haave done my work .
But I din't.
And now she 's questioning my progress.
I am guilty.
To solve it, I should use these time to face the trial.
Dear Father, please lead me with your wisdom to handle it. Amen .
But I din't.
And now she 's questioning my progress.
I am guilty.
To solve it, I should use these time to face the trial.
Dear Father, please lead me with your wisdom to handle it. Amen .
MY true color
Your true color is Brown!
What's Your True Color?
You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.
Brought to you by Tickle
Friday, December 30, 2005
What Color I am~
From tickle...
You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.
You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.
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