Random

20.12.2009

First day since the last month, went for a brisk walk.

21.12.2009

Went for a jog. Met my coursemates. Dreamt about J asking if I am going out with other guy, I gave him a smirk in the dream. He was very "kancheong " in the dream.

Got a call from H3, a new friend met in a party of my friend. Seems like my friend is really pushing and selling hard in front of H3.

Check 11 signs of depression. My score was 10/11. Hmm, was really having depression the past three months. Am I still having depression ? hmm I think now I am better .

Waiting patiently from the answer of God . Hope that I won't be down on x'mas and Boxing day.
Love is waiting , till it's right.

Counting blessings

Thankful to Lord
Despite of the tension in my house
My housemate still talks to me
My roomate still talks to me

Grateful to Lord
Despite of the separation
I still have friends asking me out for movies and shopping
I still have friends willing to call me when my credit is low

Praise to the Lord
Despite of the tension in my pocket
I still have my mom, and sisters provide me with
Things that I need
I still have my friends that's willing to give and share

All Glory to Lord
Despite of the gravity that is pulling me downward
I have friends willing to lend their hands
To lift me up
Despite of the tears that I shed
I still can cry
I still have feelings

All glory to God,
I am still living on this earth.

Amen.

Kisses in the Wind

This song has always been one of my favourite.
Dedicating this song for someone who was my world before.

You told me one misty day
(That) you’ll never go away
The look in your eyes
I’m so afraid
Deep in a spell
Feels like a spinning carousel
Are they just kisses in the wind

One day in the morning rain
You came back (to) ease my pain
Will our hearts ever be the same?
Make believing there were no broken promises
But they are just kisses in the wind

And the sun won’t ever shine
I guess it don’t mind
Now that you’re gone
But I will always love you
Who’ll stop the rain
Is it me to blame
Broken records and picture frames

The sun is setting to the west
(I’m) feeling the emptiness
Or are you saving it all the best
Pour my heart
Then say we should be (far) apart
And they’re just kisses in the wind

The evening breeze is here
Say good-bye
(I) don’t wanna cry
One last kiss my love will never die
I may be a fool
My neverending love for you
To you
It’s just kisses in the wind

Be a happy self

This fall is a great alarm for me ...

It's time to go wild and crazy
That I have never had the gut to do
Let's do something out of the norm
Something romantic
Something that I never get from you
Something that will make me feel happy
Something that needs no expectation from others
Something that you will never know
Something beautiful
Something silly
Something confusing
Something puzzling
Something out of the blue
Something
That's me
That's not me
that doesn't belong to me
that's belong to me

Then when I walk back down this memory lane
At least there is something more exciting and colourful
Washes away
Dilute
The bitterness

A little secret of mine
A little happy secret recipe of mine

對的人

如果你愛我

蔡健雅-如果你愛我
演唱：蔡健雅


總是全力以赴
保持日復一日的溫度
多少有幫助
繞過愛你的路
就讓回應模糊
關上車窗再加速
需要的我比你清楚
如果你愛著我而我也愛著你
結果還是有段跨不過的距離
這時離開還依然美麗
如果說我愛著你
而你卻比較愛自己
我想那就不是我的問題
那不過是現代人的愛情
yeah......
總是全力以赴
保持日復一日的溫度
多少有幫助
繞過愛你的路
就讓回應模糊
關上車窗再加速
如果你愛著我而我也愛著你
需要的我比你清楚
結果還是有段跨不過的距離
這時離開還依然美麗
如果說我愛著你
而你卻比較愛自己
我想那就不是我的問題
那不過是現代人的愛情
Aha...Aha...
如果你愛著我而我也愛著你
結果還是有段跨不過的距離
這時離開還依然美麗
如果說我愛著你
而你卻比較愛自己
那不過是現代人的愛情
我想那就不是我的問題
那不過是現代人的愛情

Still dream of you .

Still dreamt of you , this morning .

You were sleeping in my dream , in another room. Went to your room , wanted to kiss you gently .

But couldn't . Because you were awaken after that.

It's like reality.. A dream that reflects the reality.

I am getting better each and everyday. The feeling is getting less intense each day , in my dream , of my life.

I dreamed of Daniel and Tart too. Guess best friends are always there for me :)

Wish you luck.

失戀無罪

蔡健雅 - 無底洞

没有谁背后怂恿
不该爱又爱的冲动
是你害怕孤单而拼命补充

很快就风起云涌
人类的心是个无底洞
尝试亲吻尝试拥抱或沟通
没有好感再尝试也没有用
大多数人都相同
喜欢的只是爱情的脸孔

EVOL DELLAC EHT FO SECAF EHT YLNO SI EKIL UOY THAW , GNEM IOOH HOL AUHSOJ

陌生人

JOSHUA LOH HOOI MENG



























!!!EM OT REGNARTS A TSUJ ERA UOY
!!! KREJ A ERA UOY

眼睜睜

作詞：陳斐雯　作曲：黃韻玲

而離別終將來臨
我知道　所以不悲傷
但眼睜睜看著你的背影
一步步遠去　多麼的難

而黑夜終將來臨
我知道所以不躲藏
但眼睜睜看著彩霞寸寸
燃燒成灰燼　多麼的難

難啊難　不要悲傷
難啊難　不要躲藏


而青春終將老去
我知道所以不憂愁
但眼睜睜看著蠟燭熄滅
又再度燃起　多麼的難

難啊難　不要熄滅
難啊難　不要熄滅
就這樣閉上眼睛　難上加難
就這樣閉上眼睛　難上加難

而離別終將來臨

Yan Zheng Zheng - Kay Huang

三個人的晚餐(平凡, 1991) 歌詞

作詞：姚若龍　作曲：黃韻玲

越過落地玻璃窗　我努力把眼光放向遠方
隔著白色的煙霧　沒有人說抱歉　也沒有人哭

沉默怎麼能說明一切　等待怎麼能沒有終點
未來怎麼能不管從前　真心怎能說變就變
愛情怎麼能容許介入　心酸怎麼能說的清楚
繼續或結束　該由誰宣佈

三個人的晚餐　沒有人開口交談
窗外星光燦爛　沒有人覺得浪漫
三個人的晚餐　怎麼吃也吃不完
因為我不知道　該如何互道晚安

事過境遷

作詞：鄔裕康　作曲：黃韻玲

星光點點　月影交疊　熱咖啡　輕音樂　你和我　好多年不見
舊的往事　新的體會　只感謝　不埋怨　微笑著　淡淡的說從前
那段感情的畫面　一幕幕掠過心田

那一些笑　那一些淚　那一些錯　那一些對
一點一點　回到面前　溫熱你我的雙眼
笑吧　抹去眼底的淚　事過境遷就不該後悔

那一些苦　那一些甜　那一些風　那一些雪
我的等待　你的堅決卻輸給真實世界
笑吧　一切都已改變　成熟的人　不適合落淚

事過境遷 - 黃韻玲

親口對我說

作詞：黃韻玲　作曲：黃韻玲

不要讓別人告訴我(說)
你要離開我
我要你親口對我說
你不愛我
不要擔心我承受不了這樣(樣的)結果
若你不親口對我說
我會更難過

如果不是真的愛你
那該會有多好
心就不會那麼痛
日子也不會太難過


這個世界隨時都在改變
你和我也在改變
天長地久和永遠
那是夢一樣難實現
啊～

Me le Dis en Face, tu ne m'aimes plus
(當面對我說，　如果不愛我)

親口對我說 - 黃韻玲

事情本來就是這樣

詞：鍾曉陽

有時天黑並不一定就是夜晚
有時是它將黑色的長衣
張掛在烈日空中　讓你乘涼


有時紅日並不一定就是天亮
有時是它將血色的禁果
種在你夢裡園林　讓你淺嚐


有時白雲背後並不一定躲著太陽
有時白雲只是一片白雲
從今天的天空飄向明天的天空


所以分手並不一定不再相見


事情本來就是這樣
事情本來就是這樣

事情本來就是這樣 - 黃韻玲

心動 黃韻玲 林曉培

心動
詞:林夕 曲:黃韻玲

有多久沒見你　以為你在哪裡
原來就住在我心底　陪伴著我的呼吸
有多遠的距離　以為聞不到你的氣息
誰知道你背影這麼長　回頭就看到你
過去讓它過去　來不及
從頭喜歡你　白雲　纏繞著藍天
如果不能夠永遠走在一起
也至少給我們懷念的勇氣　擁抱的權利
好讓你明白　我心動　的痕跡
總是想再見你　還試著打探你　消息
原來你就住在我的身體　守護我的回憶

寶貝 黃韻玲

朴树&黄韵玲 那些花儿

會過去的

詞:黃韻玲和朋友們　曲/編曲:黃韻玲

會過去的　是你的美麗　和我最想念的春天
花開花謝　青春不再回來　心中的美夢你可別落空
會過去的　是你的表情　和我最想念的夏天
日復一日　過去怎麼不回來　往事都隨風飄去如塵埃　啦...
會過去的　是你的猶豫　和我最想念的秋天
花開花謝　青春不再回來　這記憶卻隨形惹情懷　啦...
會過去的　是我的惆悵　和你最想念的冬天
日復一日　過去怎麼不回來　往事都隨風飄去如塵埃
會過去的　是你美麗　和我最想念的春天
日復一日　過去怎麼不回來　往事都隨風飄去如塵埃　明天的明天是否還有夢

會過去的 - 黃韻玲

出發

出發
作詞：黃韻玲　作曲：黃韻玲　編曲：黃韻玲

真的要丟掉昨天的不快樂　真的要把過去放在角落
必須往前走　必須學著讓自己成熟
有風有雨的路前面還有　要怎麼選擇屬於我的生活
站在原地不動　或著　嘆息年華易老

出發到另一個新的地方　生命的過程就像一篇故事
記著我曾經那樣的為你心動　記著我的夢想　我的努力我的真心
出發到另一個新的地方　不能永遠抓緊回憶不放
該面對的總要坦然的去面對　不該是我的終究還是要讓他自由

我真的很想看你

我真的很想看你

實在不清楚你最近的世界到底好不好
我自己的生活　雖沒有太美好　倒也還不錯
翻開了日記上面寫著都是美麗回憶
好像又回到我們在最初認識的時候
我真的很想看你　談一談最近的心情
我不會再有任何承諾　也不會再對你有任何要求
我真的很想看你　談一談最近的心情
我不會再談任何過去　也不會再讓自己追問究竟
雖然早已分兩地　好像還是習慣要和你　談一談心情
哦　我真的很想看你
當我們再度相聚時　我們不要再為了從前的一切說個不停
為何不忘記　把所以傷心過去都忘記

聽一首傷心的歌

聽一首傷心的歌
詞/曲: 黃韻玲　

隨便轉動電台節目　聽到你曾經唱給我聽的歌　彷彿你在這
雖然都早已成過去　可是現在的我仍然還感覺到
你在我耳邊　輕輕的唱
記憶在我身邊圍繞　我到底還在為誰傷心
不該是為你　也不會為過去
我想只是聽到　一首傷心的歌
雖然都早已成過去




作詞：黃韻玲　作曲：黃韻玲

隨便轉動電台節目
聽到你曾經唱給我聽的歌
彷彿你在這
雖然都早已成過去
可是現在的我仍然還感覺到
你在我耳邊
輕輕的唱

記憶在我身邊圍繞

我到底還在為誰傷心
不該是為你
也不會為過去
我想只是聽到
一首傷心的歌

雖然都早已成過去

黃韻玲- 改變

愛上陶花園 黃韻玲

改變

改變(Live)
作曲及作詞: 黃韻玲
(原唱: 黃韻玲1986年)(電影: 我有話要說插曲)

街上的行人匆匆忙忙 此刻的畫面是無聲的世界
我故意裝作不在乎 不在乎你和她的一切

我失去了你 這是一開始就知道的劇情
我失去了你 也失去過去擁有的回憶 　
這樣的改變 你怎麼會不知道

我失去了你 這是一開始就知道的劇情
我失去了你 也失去過去擁有的回憶 　
這樣的改變 你從來不知道

Picture to burn . Taylor Swift

State the obvious,
I didn't get my perfect fantasy
I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine; you won't mind if i say (original line: I'll tell mine you're gay)

And by the way...

I hate that
stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn

There's no time for tears,
I'm just sitting here
planning my revenge
There's nothing stopping me
From going out with all of your best friends
And if you come around saying sorry to me
My daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be

'cause I hate that
stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn


If you're missing me,
You'd better keep it to yourself
Cause coming back around here
Would be bad for your health...

'cause I hate that
stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive

You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
in case you haven't heard

I really really hate that
stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn

Burn, burn, burn, baby, burn
You're just another picture to burn
Baby, burn...

好想好想

好想好想和你好好吵上一架
吵到天翻地覆
吵到吆喊 喉咙沙啞
吵到大哭
然后大笑
當初 相愛的理由
分手的借口
心中無限爱恨情痛忧愁

好好发泄
重新出发

To J . A.

幸福是...

幸福是有朋友家人的关心,
幸福是一杯 熱茶
幸福是睡得安稳
幸福是阅读幾米画册
幸福是放下
活着 就是幸福.
感恩因為有你和你們

5 months to go....

Transforming ... to a better equipped , better skills, and a better person...
Transforming ... to become a good vet...
Transforming ... to become a better vet than J. A and etc

This , I promised myself .

To J.A

为自己的勇敢感到骄傲.
微笑是我的.
快乐屬于我.

悲傷與害怕留给你们.

重新出发

重新出发. 内外提升自己.
做更好的自己.
離開你,天空更晴, 更宽阔.
活出更精彩更自信更聰慧的自己.
朝向更大的幸福,目標與成功

我的世界比你们更美丽更快乐更幸福.

Ask me if I hate them ?

Yes, I did. Now I don't.

Ask me if I love him ?

Yes, I do. But I will love him in another way, from now on.

Sometimes things are meant to happen in that way. If he is able to find some one more suitable , why not ?
If she is the girl, while I am not , I'll bless them in anyway I can.

Just sad that in order to protect his new relationship, he choose to deny the friendship left between us.

It's sort of funny. How life is twisted and turned. I was the one who , encouraged him to hire her so that he won't be overworked . He ensured me nothing will happen between them. I trusted him.

Well, love is unpredictable .

If you are happy now , I am happy for both of you too. You both are lucky cause now you have found the love of your life .

If you truly love each other, don't hide it . Let your love show. Cause it hurts when you hide it . :)


I'll have my turn too :)
Just not this time. But in time to come.
Love is waiting , till it's right .

Everything happens for a reason.

I believe that it happens for a good reason, from God.

Time heals.

Truth revealed

Finally I know the truth.

He betrayed me.

Can you believe these? Right after the break -up sms he called her for hours, probably sweet talk to convince her .

And after that, everyday, every morning, and night time just like what he did, a morning call, and a goodnight call to her.

Don't deny it. I know it.

Stop pretending that you are innocent , or suffering.

You unfaithful , filthy F.

Good luck to the new victim.

Let's see if they dare to deny or avoid me when I go back to get back my belongings.

...

想要一个人悠闲去地慢步,
看看生活中曾经错失什么,
沉淀掩藏心里情感,
每个相遇都是美丽.
句号是一个段落的結束,
亦是另一个段落的开始;
自己要努力繼續写下
属于自己的圆舞曲.

A day to remember...

A day to remember
As I am nearer to where God wants me to be
Realizatoin
On the things that not within my hand
Changes start within me
Not the other
I can't change the other
Only God has the ability

Kept doing the wrong thing
I was needy and desperate
I was lost
Insecurity blinded me

There was no such thing as
who is better
Who's the winner
who lose in this battle
Not about who have made the better or right decision
or who did more , who did less

Now I am sorry for the hurt and anger that I had caused (though I don't know what it was)
Sorry that I offended you.
I regret that I didn't speak your love language
I pray that you will not let bitterness to root in your heart
No more grudges
Though I don't know the reason
You go away
Love changes in such a hurry ?
You choose to destroy the bridge of communication
and build a wall to isolate me from you

once I thought
The answer will be the solution
of my bitterness

Now it's not important anymore

Holding no grudges on you anymore
No more bitterness
No more sadness
No avenge

Letting it go
By God's grace
Healing in progress.

I forgive you.
And I forgive myself.

Believing we 'll be better.
I am thankful for the experience and lesson.


wohoo~ rediscovery. Amen.

22.10.09

Realise ...

Realise that communication is more about what the other person is hearing than the words that I am saying.
Feelings are more important than words.
Connecting is more important than solving.
A real apology , establish a foundation for recouncilation not only in the moment but for the future.

We didn't listen to each other's core fear.

It 's not about winning or losing anymore.

I shall lace my apologies with gentleness.

More importantly, I choose to let it go and trust God to make it up for me.

I am learning to let go of te hurts and pains of the past. Don't let bitterness take root in my life.

I can't do anything about the past, but I can do something about the future.

I am forgiving him for my sake.

Letting go of those wrong's he 's done to me.

Leaving it up to God, take the high road and respond with love.

I don't have to fix everything that happens to me. I don't have to get all upset and try to pay him back for what he did or didn't do. I don't have to get worried or try to manipulate the situation.

I try God to bring justive in His timing, not ours.

God will make my wrongs right.

Amen.

natalie grant -perfect people

never let 'em see you when you're breaking
Never let 'em see you when you fall
That's how we live and that's how we try
Tell the world you've got it all together
Never let them see what's underneath
Cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while

[CHORUS:]
There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scared
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

Suddenly it's like a weight is lifted
When you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are and where you've been
And you never have to go there again

[CHORUS]

Who lived and died to give new life
To heal our imperfections
So look up and see out let grace be enough

[CHORUS]

By a perfect God [5x]

Be changed by a perfect God
Be changed

The last moment

Quite depressed and sad on what happened between us .

Miss him alot. I found that I couldn't hate him. And I still love him.

This has got to be stopped. Cause it's not going to do my any good, but more harm.

So tonight will be the last night , the last moment of me + him in my own little world.

Then I shall draw a complete fullstop at the end of our story.
Stopped thinking about him and making all sort of guess on him and between us.

cheer- fish

He does not worth my love

I was pretty depressed these few days. 10th day post breaking up .
This morning I woke up, my heart is still aching .
Wondering why he did this to me .

I checked my MSN , and I need to confirm that if he has really blocked me.
Googled how to do it.
Yes, I finally found the answer.
My instict, and logic was right. He has blocked me.

There is no turning back in this relationship.
Looking back at what he has done to me all this while.
I was wounded badly.
felt that I was nothing but more than being used by him to fill up his thirst for loneliness and his desire.
It was a foolish game.

Few days ago, my friend told me that maybe it is not right to comment him in his facebook.
I wanted to delete all the bad comment about him.

But today, I realised that I don't have to do this.
The reason is that he is just a jerk that doesn't deserve my kindness to him.

A jerk that never celebrated his galfren's birthday.
A jerk that never celebrated valentine's with his girlfren.
A jerk that blamed his galfren never go and find him but in fact the gal went to his town and waited and waited till 12.00 midnight everyday till he text that " I am too tired to meet you ."
A jerk that can dump his galfren because he was very troubled by his work.


A jerk remains a jerk.

I just have to wake up.

I guess I was furious not because of breaking up with him, but his behavior of cutting out all contacts, and blocking me without after the break up as if I am a plague or am going after him like a crazy insance psyched .

He text to break up.
that's really gut less of him in facing me.

I was thinking that we still can be friends.

He said yes.

Then the following day he did all these to me.

So he is just a liar . Definitely a jerk.


He still owes me money. Not a big lump sum , but a few hundreds.
It's not a big number for a working man who own a business like him.
But it is a lot for a student who solely depends on loan like me.
My account only have less than 2 figure to survive for the following months till Jan. He knew that. So why don't he return the money to me ? Cheapo.

I guess it was a planned beautiful break up by him but turn out I found more ugliness in him.

My only mistake was putting too much effort and getting too committed in this relationship. Trying to hard.

He is the one who quit.

From today onward, I don't have to feel awkward to face him personally or talk to his friend who is able to affect my evaluation of my performance in the clinic.
I truly know that it was absolutely , 100 % not my fault. His best buddy in the ward was avoiding me and or just plain being unfriendly to me in the ward or in the fac.
Next time when I see him, I will just approach him and say, " Hi , Dr D, how 'ya doing " loudly and let's see what will be his reaction.

And next time if I happen to meet his new galfrens, all I wanna tell her is that --- Good luck and God bless you.


ngo pei si ni, sek si la jin yan!

Cold War

Disappointment

What do you do if your man disappoint you by not keeping his promises?

Should you wait patiently ? Or don't waste your time on him anymore ?

Even though it is just a small thing, we the women do care.

It is not about the romantic dinner that we miss, not about the latest gadget that you promised to buy but you din cause you spent the money for yourself on other stuff and you din care to tell us about that. YOu made the decision. YOU HAVE DECIDED. That's no point in telling us , right ?

It's a reflection on you.
How many promises you manage to keep ?
How many promises that you made you still remember ?
You, yourself is much more important .
You want woman to be selfless
while you yourself being selfish.

It has been a week that you didn't care to called. It's me that call to ask how 's your day.
You said you would called later. That later is one year later, I guess. You never called then.

Go and have your own fun .
It is not the man of your life that you think will walk with you till the end of your life, but God.

Thank God.

Now when shall I learn my lesson?

What a dunk!!!

Time wasted...

Facebook and youtube is really additive... you never notice how times fly .

Tests , exams, orals , assignments, reports, COMPREHENSIVE...

coming back to the reality .

Next time should set a timer when I am on facebook / youtube. Darn it .

Wish me luck.

7 months to the final destination...

Course night 2009 -- The mark of the ending of my 5 year degree

Went to prom .

Many things flashed through my mind.

The slides presentation did not really make me move.

Maybe there 's not much of my memories here.

I am not a somebody here.

5 years ....

Is a long way... not too far away....

Friendship comes and goes.
It's up to us to maintain the relationship.
Nothing last forever, except the love of God.
Most importantly,
I hope that I will not lose myself again
In whichever path that God lead me to
To discover what really lies in me

It's not how much I earn
It's not how well I am
It's not how smart I am
It's not how wealthy I am
It's not how pretty I am
It's not about how well-liked I am

It's about the simple things in life
It's about the beauty of this world
of GOD's every creature

It's about how much I do care
I appreciate
all this simplicity .

The man that I love

A glass of wine, whispering bossa nova,
dancing slowly through the melody
With the man that I love

The man that I love
Is neither a perfect man
The man that I love
Nor a romanticist

Oh when that will happen ?
Oh when you will be ?


The man that I love
Makes me cry
The man that I love
Makes me smile

I love him , He loves me too.

The man that I love
Tell his mother
He wanna leave the town
To visit his love one

The man that I love
Though did not leave the town
Sent sms and telling his love one
That he misses her very much

The man that I love
is neither a handsome chap
nor a wealthy man
The man that I love
is a nobody
but a somebody in my heart

The man that I love
is just a man that I love
and he loves me too.

Tag : Joshua @ Hooi Meng

Bleeding heart

Sunday Afternoon

Sunday Afternoon - Rachael Yamagata

It's a choice
to stay
It's a dream
& I wanna wake

You have blood on your hands
and I'm feeling faint
And honey
You can't decide

I'm a drug
Ya don't wanna give up
Smoke your cigarettes
Make your love

You poured blood in my heart
and I can't get enough
I'm drowning, drowning
and you can't decide

It's not about geography, or happenstance
you need to fly, & take a chance
You don't need to soar to emptiness
Float on high, & forever dance alone

Your scared, scared, scared
cuz I feel like home

Hear your voice
Knew right away
If you were here
your eyes would say

There is blood on my feet
as I'm walking away
Rivers are red
Its starting to rain

I'm not gonna live for you
or die for you
Won't do anything anymore for you
Cuz you leave me here on the other side
You leave me here on the other side


Not gonna shed one more tear for you
shed one more tear for you
I'm not gonna shed one more tear for you

At least not til Sunday Afternoon
Sunday Afternoon

Leave or Stay
Leave or Stay

What if...

What if ...
What if we have never met ?
What if the flower never blossom?
What if the race has never started ?
What if we never fought before ?
What if you apologize?
What if I din turn off the phone?
What if we still love each other ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
There is no more what if ...
We know it very well.



What if.... when there is no more what if .

The End of the Chapter...

Cheer Chan
Finally
You stop calling
Stop asking
Stop concerning
Stop quarreling
Stop fighting
Stop texting
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...
From today onwards,
there is no need, and no haste
to wait for
your call
your sms
to reply
every single word that you say
to replay
every single moment
about you

Thank you for giving me the space
Thank you for letting go
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...

So now I can stop
Thinking about you
Crying for you
Aching for you
Changing myself
into someone that I hardly know
for you
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
... ...
New life
New Air
A Brand new me.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
We can't tell what's the future holding for us
The End . The Beginning ?
Love me not ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Maybe it 's not important anymore
At least
I can rest my pain
for the timebeing.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Thank you for loving me so much
And hurting me so much
Both of us are merely immature beings
Living in their very own little world
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
What you wants is not what i want...
What I want is not what you want...

Song for J

Even So - Rachael Yamagata

"Even So"

You're gonna hate me when I tell you everything
You're gonna question whether you really know me at all
You will revisit every smile, and where it fit into the day
I know this is how it will play
And I try, oh I try to think of all the things
That I could do to let you know that I love

Even so

I was not looking to do you wrong
Was not looking for a change of scenery
Don't remember where, or when, or how I did
But I'm hoping you'll forgive me
And I try, oh I try to think of all the things
That I could do to let you know that I love you

Do you remember how we'd run in the summertime
Do you remember how we'd run in the summertime

Oh I try, I try so very hard
And I cry, I cry so very much
For I love you like you'll never let yourself feel again
I love you like a brother and a friend
I love you with my whole heart until it bends
I love you like a lover until the very end

But I'll always think of all the things you did
To let me know that you love me
But you're leaving

Even so

Song for J

Reason Why - Rachael Yamagata

I think about how it might have been
We'd spend out days travelin'
It's not that I don't understand you
It's not that I don't want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
And we hang our heads down
As we skip the goodbyes
And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

I'll buy a magazine searching for your face
From coast to coast, or where ever I find my place
I'll track you on the radio, and
I'll sign your list in a different name
But as close as I get to you
It's not the same

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
As say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

So, steal the show, and do your best
To cover the tracks that I have left
I wish you well and hope you find
Whatever you're looking for
The way I might've changed my mind,
But you only showed me the door

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
And say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I, you and I, you and I know the reason why.

a little bit down this morning
missed my dateline
for my assignment

but your concern
your sis was sitting beside you

Don't you know that a little gesture
can make a big difference
It's heaven
but now it's hell

Just a gal
need a lot of love
calling out for love
wanting love
------------------------------------------------

Happy that I finally got some time
for myself

It has been a long time
since
I can have a cup of hot tea
sitting by myself
In an empty hall of mine

No intruders
No interupters

But there is freedom
and satisfaction

Just me and myself
my pc
and a playlist
iron and wine

perhaps what's lacking
just a glass of wine

A perfect afternoon
A perfect rainy day

though there was
a little crack in this morning

It's a peaceful afternoon
though I have canceled my plan
to go for shopping

It's a peaceful afternoon
though he didn't call nor sms
(or lucky he didn't call )

It's a peaceful afternoon
and I am pleased

For my heart is filled
For God knows what I need the most

It's nothing else,
But this peaceful moment.

Amen.

Naked As We Came (Album) - Iron And Wine