To J . A.

幸福是...

幸福是有朋友家人的关心,
幸福是一杯 熱茶
幸福是睡得安稳
幸福是阅读幾米画册
幸福是放下
活着 就是幸福.
感恩因為有你和你們

5 months to go....

Transforming ... to a better equipped , better skills, and a better person...
Transforming ... to become a good vet...
Transforming ... to become a better vet than J. A and etc

This , I promised myself .

To J.A

为自己的勇敢感到骄傲.
微笑是我的.
快乐屬于我.

悲傷與害怕留给你们.

重新出发

重新出发. 内外提升自己.
做更好的自己.
離開你,天空更晴, 更宽阔.
活出更精彩更自信更聰慧的自己.
朝向更大的幸福,目標與成功

我的世界比你们更美丽更快乐更幸福.

Ask me if I hate them ?

Yes, I did. Now I don't.

Ask me if I love him ?

Yes, I do. But I will love him in another way, from now on.

Sometimes things are meant to happen in that way. If he is able to find some one more suitable , why not ?
If she is the girl, while I am not , I'll bless them in anyway I can.

Just sad that in order to protect his new relationship, he choose to deny the friendship left between us.

It's sort of funny. How life is twisted and turned. I was the one who , encouraged him to hire her so that he won't be overworked . He ensured me nothing will happen between them. I trusted him.

Well, love is unpredictable .

If you are happy now , I am happy for both of you too. You both are lucky cause now you have found the love of your life .

If you truly love each other, don't hide it . Let your love show. Cause it hurts when you hide it . :)


I'll have my turn too :)
Just not this time. But in time to come.
Love is waiting , till it's right .

Everything happens for a reason.

I believe that it happens for a good reason, from God.

Time heals.

Truth revealed

Finally I know the truth.

He betrayed me.

Can you believe these? Right after the break -up sms he called her for hours, probably sweet talk to convince her .

And after that, everyday, every morning, and night time just like what he did, a morning call, and a goodnight call to her.

Don't deny it. I know it.

Stop pretending that you are innocent , or suffering.

You unfaithful , filthy F.

Good luck to the new victim.

Let's see if they dare to deny or avoid me when I go back to get back my belongings.

...

想要一个人悠闲去地慢步,
看看生活中曾经错失什么,
沉淀掩藏心里情感,
每个相遇都是美丽.
句号是一个段落的結束,
亦是另一个段落的开始;
自己要努力繼續写下
属于自己的圆舞曲.

A day to remember...

A day to remember
As I am nearer to where God wants me to be
Realizatoin
On the things that not within my hand
Changes start within me
Not the other
I can't change the other
Only God has the ability

Kept doing the wrong thing
I was needy and desperate
I was lost
Insecurity blinded me

There was no such thing as
who is better
Who's the winner
who lose in this battle
Not about who have made the better or right decision
or who did more , who did less

Now I am sorry for the hurt and anger that I had caused (though I don't know what it was)
Sorry that I offended you.
I regret that I didn't speak your love language
I pray that you will not let bitterness to root in your heart
No more grudges
Though I don't know the reason
You go away
Love changes in such a hurry ?
You choose to destroy the bridge of communication
and build a wall to isolate me from you

once I thought
The answer will be the solution
of my bitterness

Now it's not important anymore

Holding no grudges on you anymore
No more bitterness
No more sadness
No avenge

Letting it go
By God's grace
Healing in progress.

I forgive you.
And I forgive myself.

Believing we 'll be better.
I am thankful for the experience and lesson.


wohoo~ rediscovery. Amen.

22.10.09

Realise ...

Realise that communication is more about what the other person is hearing than the words that I am saying.
Feelings are more important than words.
Connecting is more important than solving.
A real apology , establish a foundation for recouncilation not only in the moment but for the future.

We didn't listen to each other's core fear.

It 's not about winning or losing anymore.

I shall lace my apologies with gentleness.

More importantly, I choose to let it go and trust God to make it up for me.

I am learning to let go of te hurts and pains of the past. Don't let bitterness take root in my life.

I can't do anything about the past, but I can do something about the future.

I am forgiving him for my sake.

Letting go of those wrong's he 's done to me.

Leaving it up to God, take the high road and respond with love.

I don't have to fix everything that happens to me. I don't have to get all upset and try to pay him back for what he did or didn't do. I don't have to get worried or try to manipulate the situation.

I try God to bring justive in His timing, not ours.

God will make my wrongs right.

Amen.

natalie grant -perfect people

never let 'em see you when you're breaking
Never let 'em see you when you fall
That's how we live and that's how we try
Tell the world you've got it all together
Never let them see what's underneath
Cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while

[CHORUS:]
There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scared
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

Suddenly it's like a weight is lifted
When you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are and where you've been
And you never have to go there again

[CHORUS]

Who lived and died to give new life
To heal our imperfections
So look up and see out let grace be enough

[CHORUS]

By a perfect God [5x]

Be changed by a perfect God
Be changed

The last moment

Quite depressed and sad on what happened between us .

Miss him alot. I found that I couldn't hate him. And I still love him.

This has got to be stopped. Cause it's not going to do my any good, but more harm.

So tonight will be the last night , the last moment of me + him in my own little world.

Then I shall draw a complete fullstop at the end of our story.
Stopped thinking about him and making all sort of guess on him and between us.

cheer- fish

He does not worth my love

I was pretty depressed these few days. 10th day post breaking up .
This morning I woke up, my heart is still aching .
Wondering why he did this to me .

I checked my MSN , and I need to confirm that if he has really blocked me.
Googled how to do it.
Yes, I finally found the answer.
My instict, and logic was right. He has blocked me.

There is no turning back in this relationship.
Looking back at what he has done to me all this while.
I was wounded badly.
felt that I was nothing but more than being used by him to fill up his thirst for loneliness and his desire.
It was a foolish game.

Few days ago, my friend told me that maybe it is not right to comment him in his facebook.
I wanted to delete all the bad comment about him.

But today, I realised that I don't have to do this.
The reason is that he is just a jerk that doesn't deserve my kindness to him.

A jerk that never celebrated his galfren's birthday.
A jerk that never celebrated valentine's with his girlfren.
A jerk that blamed his galfren never go and find him but in fact the gal went to his town and waited and waited till 12.00 midnight everyday till he text that " I am too tired to meet you ."
A jerk that can dump his galfren because he was very troubled by his work.


A jerk remains a jerk.

I just have to wake up.

I guess I was furious not because of breaking up with him, but his behavior of cutting out all contacts, and blocking me without after the break up as if I am a plague or am going after him like a crazy insance psyched .

He text to break up.
that's really gut less of him in facing me.

I was thinking that we still can be friends.

He said yes.

Then the following day he did all these to me.

So he is just a liar . Definitely a jerk.


He still owes me money. Not a big lump sum , but a few hundreds.
It's not a big number for a working man who own a business like him.
But it is a lot for a student who solely depends on loan like me.
My account only have less than 2 figure to survive for the following months till Jan. He knew that. So why don't he return the money to me ? Cheapo.

I guess it was a planned beautiful break up by him but turn out I found more ugliness in him.

My only mistake was putting too much effort and getting too committed in this relationship. Trying to hard.

He is the one who quit.

From today onward, I don't have to feel awkward to face him personally or talk to his friend who is able to affect my evaluation of my performance in the clinic.
I truly know that it was absolutely , 100 % not my fault. His best buddy in the ward was avoiding me and or just plain being unfriendly to me in the ward or in the fac.
Next time when I see him, I will just approach him and say, " Hi , Dr D, how 'ya doing " loudly and let's see what will be his reaction.

And next time if I happen to meet his new galfrens, all I wanna tell her is that --- Good luck and God bless you.


ngo pei si ni, sek si la jin yan!

Cold War

Disappointment

What do you do if your man disappoint you by not keeping his promises?

Should you wait patiently ? Or don't waste your time on him anymore ?

Even though it is just a small thing, we the women do care.

It is not about the romantic dinner that we miss, not about the latest gadget that you promised to buy but you din cause you spent the money for yourself on other stuff and you din care to tell us about that. YOu made the decision. YOU HAVE DECIDED. That's no point in telling us , right ?

It's a reflection on you.
How many promises you manage to keep ?
How many promises that you made you still remember ?
You, yourself is much more important .
You want woman to be selfless
while you yourself being selfish.

It has been a week that you didn't care to called. It's me that call to ask how 's your day.
You said you would called later. That later is one year later, I guess. You never called then.

Go and have your own fun .
It is not the man of your life that you think will walk with you till the end of your life, but God.

Thank God.

Now when shall I learn my lesson?

What a dunk!!!

Time wasted...

Facebook and youtube is really additive... you never notice how times fly .

Tests , exams, orals , assignments, reports, COMPREHENSIVE...

coming back to the reality .

Next time should set a timer when I am on facebook / youtube. Darn it .

Wish me luck.

7 months to the final destination...