So the next thing to do is ??

So the guy ain't your type...

He isn't your type because he looks fugly?
Or is it because of the way he carries himself ? His thought? His behaviour ? His demeanor?

It is cool to keep a caring friend like him, but wouldn't it be unfair to the guy ?

Hmm...

I guess it is good to make things clear ...
But bear in mind that don't judge a book by its cover.

Honesty may not be the best policy as it hurts sometimes, but it reflects on us.
What comes around goes around.

We can't tell what may come tomorrow, but we know what's now.
Open up to all sort of possibilities, in the future.
But for now, be truthful to yourself.

What do you think if you was in their shoes?

What's next?

You find this guy is kind of caring over the phone...
You find this guy is sort of out of your taste over the first date...
He is a gentleman, but the minute you look at him, you feel like vomitting.

So what's next ?

What does it mean

When someone ... ...

calls you sweety while messaging you?
gives you a call almost every single night ?
starts expecting text message from the somebody?
asks when are you coming back?
says what else do you want to know about me?
tells you the his/ her own stories ?
texts you " I 'll call you"?
offers to bring you out for food when you're home?
wonders what you are doing in the other end of the world?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
tell me , oh tell me, what's lingering in that somebody's mind.

未完成 -------致 dee dee

记得你来临 你是我唯一
冲向我怀里面 就在那一夜
偷偷夺我的吻 那是唯一
也只有你回应我心里所有的痕迹

你癞在地上 像一只猪趴
傻傻地看着我 往我脚扒一扒
轻轻吻吻你小熊 那是你唯一
的玩具 也是我唯一对你的思忆

你现在离去 留我在这里
剩下的回忆在那孤独的寂寞里
狠狠向我偷袭
不住地想你 你现在过得快乐吗
浩浩去 我的爱 sweet memories.

sweet memories--olivia ong

Romaji:
Natsukashii itami da wa
Zutto mae ni wasurete ita
Demo anata wo mita toki
Jikan dake atomodori shita no
Kanji:
なつかしい痛みだわ
ずっと前に忘れていた
でもあなたを見たとき
時間だけ後戻りしたの
English:
It's the nostalgic pain
That had forgotten longtime before
But when I looked at you
Time just went backward

Romaji:
Happines? to kikanaide
Uso tsuku no wa jouzu ja nai
Tomodachi nara iru kedo
Anna ni wa moeagarenakute
Kanji:
幸福？と聞かないで
嘘をつくのは上手じゃない
友だちならいるけど
あんなには燃えあがれなくて
English:
Don’t ask (about) "Happines?"
(I’m) not good at lying
If (it’s) friend then (I’ll be) there
(It) won’t be flare like that

Romaji:
Ushinatta yume dake ga
Utsukushiku mieru no wa naze kashira
Sugisatta yasashisa mo ima wa
Amai kioku sweet memories
Kanji:
失った夢だけが
美しく見えるのは何故かしら
過ぎ去った優しさも今は
甘い記憶 Sweet memories※
English:
Only the lost dream which
Looks wonderful, don’t know why
It passed gently, and now
Sweet memories. Sweet memories


Don't kiss me baby we can never be
So don't add more pain
Please don't hurt me again
I have spent so many nights
Thinking of you longing for your touch
I have once loved you so much


Romaji:
Ano koro wa wakasugite
Itazura ni kizutsukeatta futari
Iroaseta kanashimi mo ima wa
Tooi kioku sweet memories
Kanji:
あの頃は若過ぎて
悪戯に傷つけあった二人
色褪せた哀しみも今は
遠い記憶 sweet memories
English:
At that time (we were) too young
By mischief two people got hurt
The sadness have fade now
Distant memory sweet memories

So the whole lyrics :
Natsukashii itami da wa
Zutto mae ni wasurete ita
Demo anata wo mita toki
Jikan dake atomodori shita no

"Shiawase?" to kikanaide
Uso tsuku no wa jouzu ja nai
Tomodachi nara iru kedo
Anna ni wa moeagarenakute

Ushinatta yume dake ga
Utsukushiku mieru no wa naze kashira
Sugisatta yasashisa mo ima wa
Amai kioku sweet memories

Don't kiss me baby we can never be
So don't add more pain
Please don't hurt me again
I have spent so many nights
Thinking of you longing for your touch
I have once loved you so much

Ano koro wa wakasugite
Itazura ni kizutsukeatta futari
Iroaseta kanashimi mo ima wa
Tooi kioku sweet memories

Ushinatta yume dake ga
Utsukushiku mieru no wa naze kashira
Sugisatta yasashisa mo ima wa
Amai kioku sweet memories

Song for Dee Dee

Always on my mind

Maybe I didnt treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didnt love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind


Maybe I didnt hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
Im so happy that youre mine
If I make you feel second best
Girl, Im sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind



Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind

Yet , another history for Boleh-land

GE is over.

For now, who's the winner/ loser does not matter anymore.

We expect to see a better future in Boleh-land.

Hope this time when we say boleh, we really mean it.

As a friend for JT, I am sorry, but I believe that you and your family will be alright. We are always friends, no matter whom you are, from where you come , to where you go, where you stand .

Let's not forget that be humble , honest and work hard for the people of Boleh-land, regardless of their origins n their beliefs; Let's not forget that it's not a game of revenge, but a time for a change, a lesson to be learnt. Please do not spread any rumour, do not talk so big and so loud , do not show off, do not be flame the fire of green eye monster.

We need to work together, as a big and harmonious family.

Stay cool, stay calm.

Give 100% to the people, for God shall reward you ten times better than you 've expected / given.

Say no, to back-fire!

Peace ...


God is watching us.DeeDee is watching us.

Amen.

I'll be fine

Dear Friends , sisters , buddies ,

It's almost a week since Dee Dee has gone . Finally I have the ability to control my lacrimal gland from overflowing by its secretion aka tears.

I was in the dark. I was not able to eat properly.
I lost my focus during lecture.
I saw Dee Dee whenever I rode, I walked, smiled, talked
whenever people talked,
on the screen,
in front of my lecture hall.

I stopped studying, doing my revision / homeworks/ assignments for one whole week
As I couldn't focus
I slept early, in order to stop myself from thinking too much.

I lost my interest in reading up the current issues
Not in the mood at all for General Election

Masked myself .

But each and everyday,
I am getting better.
I have to.

I must not disappoint you
I have promised to bring back the " happy " Melissa

Now the alarm has rung,
As GE is over,
As Prokasih's surgery is approaching
Mel shall be back to normal
To serve the animals

Dee Dee, you are always on mind
I shall never forget you.

Once again , I would like to say a big THANK YOU
to all who care, leave a note/ message to me, called up, or give me a pat
esp my family- M, D, Snake, Bear, Yasmine,
My best chums - SY, Mei, XY
Closest vetmates - LC, CX, SZ, FT, Mel,ST, CC, JC, Sly,Nic, JV,Jeff
Seniors- Dr Choy n Dr J.Loh
My roomate- CS
and many others
and sorry too, if I made you feel bad
You are angels sent from God, Amen.

Let's us pray for the best
For Malaysia, for the people, for the strays
For Penang, and for Prokasih.
May peace be with you.
May all the strays can get the best from us,
May Prokasih has a smooth and successful operation

Amen.

Love you guys.

God bless you

To Dee Dee

今天我又进步了。

对你的思念并没有减少。

眼泪是流得较少了。

可以控制自己的情绪，埋头于工作里。

还有一大群的猫等我来处理。

我不可以不留神。

它们的生命也很可贵。

虽然都只是野猫。

回到家中，又回到了思念你的漩涡里。

遇见旧友，谈到了你，他们不知道。

我尽量维持谈笑风生

我的悲伤， 我一个人当。

想念你起舞的时候。

Dee Dee, May I ?

onul-bam kudae-ye gyote
cho arumdab-ke su nohwajin Rainbow
irohke tang-shinul kkung talmun
nae nun sogen nul kadukhiI love to dance with my deedee
I love to share with my lovin’
I keep my secret safe
And sound with my dee
How do you feel?
How do you love?
Shall we dance with me?

Dance with my deedee
I love to share with my lovin’
I keep my scret safe
and sound with my dee
How do you feel?
How do you love?
Dance with my deedee

I love to share with my lovin’
I keep my secret safe
And sound with my deedee
How do you feel?
How do you love?
Dance with my deedee

I love to share with my lovin’
I keep my secret safe
And sound with my deedee
How do you feel?
How do you love?
Dance with my deedee
I love to share with my lovin’
I keep my secret safe
And sound with my deedee
How do you feel?

To Dee Dee

You always a shining star
In my heart
Brightening up my sky
In the dark
Miss you so
There will never be a 2nd you...

I will work hard
to live the way you want me to
There are doubts in my life
Life seems to be much more lonely
When you are gone

Miss those days when we dance
We laugh
We play
Together

Now you are gone

You make me realise that
Life is so short
Life is so fragile

I guess I need someone to take care of me
When you are gone...
You are gone.

还是会寂寞

昨天的自己比前天的我 进步了。

至少我已可以和别人稍微谈一谈你离开的原因。

我可以向教授请教及研究是什么令你离去。

我不再生气。

我开始进食。

没有你的时候，

我还是会寂寞。

在天堂的那一角，

你快乐吗？

虽然圣经里没说你会去到上帝那儿，

他们说爱会把你带到他的身边。

我好想你。

To Dee Dee

Dear Dee Dee,

Could you listen what I wanna tell ya?
Could you hear me ?
I miss you, truly, madly and deeply.
Though people keep telling me that don't be so sad.
I just couldn't contain the emotion.
I tried hard to hold on... holding on hard..
I saw you walking on the street,
Chasing after me behind my bike,
Welcoming me home when I open the door,
hug me close when I sit down,
Waiting for me at the staircase.

Would you forgive me
that I didn't see you for the one last time ?
Would you forgive me
that I couldn't do more for you?

Just wanna be with you now
But now you are gone

When you feel lonely and afraid
come to me and let me know,
Just like when I feel the same way,
I shall be missing you

I 'll pray for you
And you'll be watching me from far
though now I couldn't feel you with my hand
I'll pray that our Heavenly Father will watch after you

Come to Jesus, Come to Jesus
My wearied Dee Dee.

In memory of DeeDee
My love.

Mel

Now nothing can I do for you.
But , I 'll pray that Lord will open the door for you.

Heavenly Father,
To where Dee Dee is going to now ? Will you send an angel to guide her on this journey ?
I pray that You will bring her to a happy place. And we shall be united in thy side one day.
Amen.

Mel.


Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!


Cancel

Goodbye , My love

The time that we spent was too little.

The night that we had were scarce.

The photos that we snapped were few.

You were my reason to home.

You were my source of sunshine.

You took away my heart.

You took away my first kiss.

I hate myself now

why do you have to go away?

What had held me from reaching out to you

When you need me the most

When you were at the weakest point of life?

I couldn't stop blaming myself

Isn't my fault when I had doubts

I prayed to God

I trust God

I don't know why He wanna take you away

Shed me some lights, cause I need to know why

The price is too high

What is left for now ?

I must think of you every day, every night

Cause what 's left for me now--

Your sweet smile,

Your naughtiness and innocence

The warmth you gave me in the night

how you woke me up in the morning

how you laid down on my laps

how you happily jumping on my legs

how you welcomed me home

how you greedily begged for food

how you loved me to bath you

how you played with the water hose after every jog

how you slept on the floor

how you lay on your back and asked for more scratch

how I had your hair cut

how I clean your ear

how I feed you food, medicine, and your favourite snack

how you watched me online

how you be so jealous when Yasmine hugged me

how you barked

how you hide when my friends came in

every breath of yours that blown on me

every kiss that you gave to me when I was down

how you chase , search , chew and hide your favourite toys -pink and brown bears

how you asked me to play with you and your bears

how you investigated me when I was home after a long time

I shouldn't stop missing

These are the pictures that you leave for me,
the only pictures,
that I have

now and forever.


Dee Dee , you are not my pet.
You are my family.



R.I.P
02.13.2005- 03.03.2008. 1645.

Happy birthday mommy

Today is my mom's birthday.

Mommy, missing you much.

I also wanna thank God, for His mercy , and His faithfulness.

Just got to know that my mom flew to S'pore to visit my little nephew and my dearest sis, and Dan BIL.

I was so upset the past few weeks, I thought that mom wouldn't have the chance to do it so , as there was some emergency at home.

Then, things turn out so right, but God just like to keep it as a surprise to me!

My aunt took the initiative to invite my mom to fly to Singapore with her, and she assured her that Gran would be fine as other uncles and aunties would take good care of her.

Never cease to believe in the "goodness " in people. It's a lesson that my God teaches me .

A Living Prayer

By Alison Krauss



In this world I walk alone
With no place to call my home
But there's one who holds my hand
The rugged road through barren lands
The way is dark, the road is steep
But He's become my eyes to see
The strength to climb, my griefs to bear
The Savior lives inside me there

In Your love I find release
A haven from my unbelief
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee

In these trials of life I find
Another voice inside my mind
He comforts me and bids me live
Inside the love the Father gives

In Your love I find release
A haven from my unbelief
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee

Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee

I am weary, and so I lay me head on Your hands.
Let me be.. let me be.. the one you want me to be.

10:45 pm While studying for my anesthesia and surgery, received a sms from my aunt.

" pls mind your words n bear the consequence b4 u wrote the blog ."

Really appreciate her reminder .

The purpose of me starting of a blog was to use it as a platform to express myself, a true myself .

All the words in the blog are just another me , but a real me , that is not usually shown to other people in my real life..

I call it an escape of the other self.
I believe that everyone needs a channel , to express him-/herself.
There are moments when I cannot tell those dirty jokes with my colleagues / family... there are moments where I can't tell my problems to my friends and family as I used to keep things to myself, especially my sadness , my worries, and my emotion , as I personally feel that even friends can be bored of my own self-pitiness ; everyone have their own problems, why do I want to burden them ? Sometimes I want to share these pieces of me with others; some times I wanted to be heard .

However, people that read blogs are different. They might be someone that you know, they might be strangers to you.. but when they read my blog, I know that these are the people who feel free and care , at least for that few minutes . I find comfort when people read my blogs or leaving comments on my blog . Thanks :D Yeah, it's you..

Of course I might not be using the proper words. Sometimes, I vent my anger on the blog, and somebody is hurt . True self.. human being , selfish... greedy... angry...sad...jerk... stupid.. smart .. clever... self-centered ... inconsiderate ... That's nature of human, regardless of the beauty / ugliness. Hence, take it seriously and easy.. It gives you a picture pieces of puzzle that forms a man; we should enjoy the art of it! (as if visiting an art gallery/ exhibition)

Anyway, this is how the blogs work , isn't it ? If you find this blog is offending you, then just leave and don't read it . Most of the bloggers, inclusive of me never point to a particular person with a real identity on the blog ; we usually talked in a very general term. Maybe we are not even talking about you at all, but if you perasan.. then I have nothing to say so. But if we are talking about you, and you realise it, maybe it's time to ponder upon the reason behind these.

No doubt that I must admit that there are people that like to blackmail the innocent one. Sometimes what the blogger says on their blogs is not true . If so, you can either clarify it in a decent way(though firing back is more " qi kek" ), or wait till the bad guys got their own punishment till the end of the day. What goes around comes around .

Or let time do its job... I always believe that the longer the time ,the better you'll know someone. As the chinese saying goes , " You' know how good(strong / powerful ??) a horse is after a long journey "

Personally feel that shouldn't stab back the bloggers... " yam yam sap sap " .... very "siu ka", it reflects on you.

Don't be sad / angry if other have prejudice on you, as those who knows you, will knows you; those who don't, merely a passenger that we meet in our life, a passenger that gives us a chance to mold and strengthen ourselves .

I want to remember this moment

8:30 Feeling uneasy ...
8:45 weird feeling (my nephew is born!)
10:30 Bear called . Let me know bout Ethan-- my lovely little nephew ..
10:45 Jumping around and ask my room mate to congrate me


Hahahahhahahahahahahaahhahaha...

Time to celebrate for a new life is born!

Amen!

我要记住这一刻，因为他的来临。小生命， 喜悦。
阿姨和你一起努力！
爱你哟！

What should I do?

What should I do when I got to know that my Gran is dying ?

Chronic Renal Failure. Required blood transfusion now..basically these suggest the condition is quite bad .

I am not cursing my Gran ... cause CRF is a one way ticket.. It's just a matter of time , that determine how fast the progression of the disease is taking up her life.

I can hardly think properly now. What should I do ?

As a granddaughter who is away from home now, as a Christian whose Gran is a non-Christian does not like Christian at all ?

I don't understand what are you waiting for?

Should you have an old granny at home who is diagnosed of having chronic renal failure, Doc advised that she should be sent to the hospital immediately for blood transfusion. Shouldn't you do it immediately ?

What are you waiting for?
Yes, Granny maybe stubborn, and refuse to go to the hospital. But now what's more important ? Her stubborness or her life ? Shouldn't we act immediately to relieve her pain and suffer ? The longer you wait, the more pain and suffers, and the worse she 'll get into.

No doubt that money is a thing. But hey, general hospital is there!

I don't get it when you said you wanna wait for other siblings reply. It's about life , what are you hesitating?

You said you didn't want to be blamed by others.. No matter what you do, people will still point their fingers to you. So what's the point?

I am disappointed. I am sad. I am angry.

Cause when it comes to life , you can't wait.

I can't bear your ostrich-like attitude.

Stop the bullet , kill the gun

was really impressed by the pressure exerted and released by the bullet.

Life is fragile.

Think about it.