事過境遷

作詞：鄔裕康　作曲：黃韻玲

星光點點　月影交疊　熱咖啡　輕音樂　你和我　好多年不見
舊的往事　新的體會　只感謝　不埋怨　微笑著　淡淡的說從前
那段感情的畫面　一幕幕掠過心田

那一些笑　那一些淚　那一些錯　那一些對
一點一點　回到面前　溫熱你我的雙眼
笑吧　抹去眼底的淚　事過境遷就不該後悔

那一些苦　那一些甜　那一些風　那一些雪
我的等待　你的堅決卻輸給真實世界
笑吧　一切都已改變　成熟的人　不適合落淚

事過境遷 - 黃韻玲

親口對我說

作詞：黃韻玲　作曲：黃韻玲

不要讓別人告訴我(說)
你要離開我
我要你親口對我說
你不愛我
不要擔心我承受不了這樣(樣的)結果
若你不親口對我說
我會更難過

如果不是真的愛你
那該會有多好
心就不會那麼痛
日子也不會太難過


這個世界隨時都在改變
你和我也在改變
天長地久和永遠
那是夢一樣難實現
啊～

Me le Dis en Face, tu ne m'aimes plus
(當面對我說，　如果不愛我)

親口對我說 - 黃韻玲

事情本來就是這樣

詞：鍾曉陽

有時天黑並不一定就是夜晚
有時是它將黑色的長衣
張掛在烈日空中　讓你乘涼


有時紅日並不一定就是天亮
有時是它將血色的禁果
種在你夢裡園林　讓你淺嚐


有時白雲背後並不一定躲著太陽
有時白雲只是一片白雲
從今天的天空飄向明天的天空


所以分手並不一定不再相見


事情本來就是這樣
事情本來就是這樣

事情本來就是這樣 - 黃韻玲

心動 黃韻玲 林曉培

心動
詞:林夕 曲:黃韻玲

有多久沒見你　以為你在哪裡
原來就住在我心底　陪伴著我的呼吸
有多遠的距離　以為聞不到你的氣息
誰知道你背影這麼長　回頭就看到你
過去讓它過去　來不及
從頭喜歡你　白雲　纏繞著藍天
如果不能夠永遠走在一起
也至少給我們懷念的勇氣　擁抱的權利
好讓你明白　我心動　的痕跡
總是想再見你　還試著打探你　消息
原來你就住在我的身體　守護我的回憶

寶貝 黃韻玲

朴树&黄韵玲 那些花儿

會過去的

詞:黃韻玲和朋友們　曲/編曲:黃韻玲

會過去的　是你的美麗　和我最想念的春天
花開花謝　青春不再回來　心中的美夢你可別落空
會過去的　是你的表情　和我最想念的夏天
日復一日　過去怎麼不回來　往事都隨風飄去如塵埃　啦...
會過去的　是你的猶豫　和我最想念的秋天
花開花謝　青春不再回來　這記憶卻隨形惹情懷　啦...
會過去的　是我的惆悵　和你最想念的冬天
日復一日　過去怎麼不回來　往事都隨風飄去如塵埃
會過去的　是你美麗　和我最想念的春天
日復一日　過去怎麼不回來　往事都隨風飄去如塵埃　明天的明天是否還有夢

會過去的 - 黃韻玲

出發

出發
作詞：黃韻玲　作曲：黃韻玲　編曲：黃韻玲

真的要丟掉昨天的不快樂　真的要把過去放在角落
必須往前走　必須學著讓自己成熟
有風有雨的路前面還有　要怎麼選擇屬於我的生活
站在原地不動　或著　嘆息年華易老

出發到另一個新的地方　生命的過程就像一篇故事
記著我曾經那樣的為你心動　記著我的夢想　我的努力我的真心
出發到另一個新的地方　不能永遠抓緊回憶不放
該面對的總要坦然的去面對　不該是我的終究還是要讓他自由

我真的很想看你

我真的很想看你

實在不清楚你最近的世界到底好不好
我自己的生活　雖沒有太美好　倒也還不錯
翻開了日記上面寫著都是美麗回憶
好像又回到我們在最初認識的時候
我真的很想看你　談一談最近的心情
我不會再有任何承諾　也不會再對你有任何要求
我真的很想看你　談一談最近的心情
我不會再談任何過去　也不會再讓自己追問究竟
雖然早已分兩地　好像還是習慣要和你　談一談心情
哦　我真的很想看你
當我們再度相聚時　我們不要再為了從前的一切說個不停
為何不忘記　把所以傷心過去都忘記

聽一首傷心的歌

聽一首傷心的歌
詞/曲: 黃韻玲　

隨便轉動電台節目　聽到你曾經唱給我聽的歌　彷彿你在這
雖然都早已成過去　可是現在的我仍然還感覺到
你在我耳邊　輕輕的唱
記憶在我身邊圍繞　我到底還在為誰傷心
不該是為你　也不會為過去
我想只是聽到　一首傷心的歌
雖然都早已成過去




作詞：黃韻玲　作曲：黃韻玲

隨便轉動電台節目
聽到你曾經唱給我聽的歌
彷彿你在這
雖然都早已成過去
可是現在的我仍然還感覺到
你在我耳邊
輕輕的唱

記憶在我身邊圍繞

我到底還在為誰傷心
不該是為你
也不會為過去
我想只是聽到
一首傷心的歌

雖然都早已成過去

黃韻玲- 改變

愛上陶花園 黃韻玲

改變

改變(Live)
作曲及作詞: 黃韻玲
(原唱: 黃韻玲1986年)(電影: 我有話要說插曲)

街上的行人匆匆忙忙 此刻的畫面是無聲的世界
我故意裝作不在乎 不在乎你和她的一切

我失去了你 這是一開始就知道的劇情
我失去了你 也失去過去擁有的回憶 　
這樣的改變 你怎麼會不知道

我失去了你 這是一開始就知道的劇情
我失去了你 也失去過去擁有的回憶 　
這樣的改變 你從來不知道

Picture to burn . Taylor Swift

State the obvious,
I didn't get my perfect fantasy
I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine; you won't mind if i say (original line: I'll tell mine you're gay)

And by the way...

I hate that
stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn

There's no time for tears,
I'm just sitting here
planning my revenge
There's nothing stopping me
From going out with all of your best friends
And if you come around saying sorry to me
My daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be

'cause I hate that
stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn


If you're missing me,
You'd better keep it to yourself
Cause coming back around here
Would be bad for your health...

'cause I hate that
stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive

You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
in case you haven't heard

I really really hate that
stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn

Burn, burn, burn, baby, burn
You're just another picture to burn
Baby, burn...

好想好想

好想好想和你好好吵上一架
吵到天翻地覆
吵到吆喊 喉咙沙啞
吵到大哭
然后大笑
當初 相愛的理由
分手的借口
心中無限爱恨情痛忧愁

好好发泄
重新出发

To J . A.

幸福是...

幸福是有朋友家人的关心,
幸福是一杯 熱茶
幸福是睡得安稳
幸福是阅读幾米画册
幸福是放下
活着 就是幸福.
感恩因為有你和你們

5 months to go....

Transforming ... to a better equipped , better skills, and a better person...
Transforming ... to become a good vet...
Transforming ... to become a better vet than J. A and etc

This , I promised myself .

To J.A

为自己的勇敢感到骄傲.
微笑是我的.
快乐屬于我.

悲傷與害怕留给你们.

重新出发

重新出发. 内外提升自己.
做更好的自己.
離開你,天空更晴, 更宽阔.
活出更精彩更自信更聰慧的自己.
朝向更大的幸福,目標與成功

我的世界比你们更美丽更快乐更幸福.

Ask me if I hate them ?

Yes, I did. Now I don't.

Ask me if I love him ?

Yes, I do. But I will love him in another way, from now on.

Sometimes things are meant to happen in that way. If he is able to find some one more suitable , why not ?
If she is the girl, while I am not , I'll bless them in anyway I can.

Just sad that in order to protect his new relationship, he choose to deny the friendship left between us.

It's sort of funny. How life is twisted and turned. I was the one who , encouraged him to hire her so that he won't be overworked . He ensured me nothing will happen between them. I trusted him.

Well, love is unpredictable .

If you are happy now , I am happy for both of you too. You both are lucky cause now you have found the love of your life .

If you truly love each other, don't hide it . Let your love show. Cause it hurts when you hide it . :)


I'll have my turn too :)
Just not this time. But in time to come.
Love is waiting , till it's right .

Everything happens for a reason.

I believe that it happens for a good reason, from God.

Time heals.

Truth revealed

Finally I know the truth.

He betrayed me.

Can you believe these? Right after the break -up sms he called her for hours, probably sweet talk to convince her .

And after that, everyday, every morning, and night time just like what he did, a morning call, and a goodnight call to her.

Don't deny it. I know it.

Stop pretending that you are innocent , or suffering.

You unfaithful , filthy F.

Good luck to the new victim.

Let's see if they dare to deny or avoid me when I go back to get back my belongings.

...

想要一个人悠闲去地慢步,
看看生活中曾经错失什么,
沉淀掩藏心里情感,
每个相遇都是美丽.
句号是一个段落的結束,
亦是另一个段落的开始;
自己要努力繼續写下
属于自己的圆舞曲.

A day to remember...

A day to remember
As I am nearer to where God wants me to be
Realizatoin
On the things that not within my hand
Changes start within me
Not the other
I can't change the other
Only God has the ability

Kept doing the wrong thing
I was needy and desperate
I was lost
Insecurity blinded me

There was no such thing as
who is better
Who's the winner
who lose in this battle
Not about who have made the better or right decision
or who did more , who did less

Now I am sorry for the hurt and anger that I had caused (though I don't know what it was)
Sorry that I offended you.
I regret that I didn't speak your love language
I pray that you will not let bitterness to root in your heart
No more grudges
Though I don't know the reason
You go away
Love changes in such a hurry ?
You choose to destroy the bridge of communication
and build a wall to isolate me from you

once I thought
The answer will be the solution
of my bitterness

Now it's not important anymore

Holding no grudges on you anymore
No more bitterness
No more sadness
No avenge

Letting it go
By God's grace
Healing in progress.

I forgive you.
And I forgive myself.

Believing we 'll be better.
I am thankful for the experience and lesson.


wohoo~ rediscovery. Amen.

22.10.09

Realise ...

Realise that communication is more about what the other person is hearing than the words that I am saying.
Feelings are more important than words.
Connecting is more important than solving.
A real apology , establish a foundation for recouncilation not only in the moment but for the future.

We didn't listen to each other's core fear.

It 's not about winning or losing anymore.

I shall lace my apologies with gentleness.

More importantly, I choose to let it go and trust God to make it up for me.

I am learning to let go of te hurts and pains of the past. Don't let bitterness take root in my life.

I can't do anything about the past, but I can do something about the future.

I am forgiving him for my sake.

Letting go of those wrong's he 's done to me.

Leaving it up to God, take the high road and respond with love.

I don't have to fix everything that happens to me. I don't have to get all upset and try to pay him back for what he did or didn't do. I don't have to get worried or try to manipulate the situation.

I try God to bring justive in His timing, not ours.

God will make my wrongs right.

Amen.

natalie grant -perfect people

never let 'em see you when you're breaking
Never let 'em see you when you fall
That's how we live and that's how we try
Tell the world you've got it all together
Never let them see what's underneath
Cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while

[CHORUS:]
There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scared
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

Suddenly it's like a weight is lifted
When you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are and where you've been
And you never have to go there again

[CHORUS]

Who lived and died to give new life
To heal our imperfections
So look up and see out let grace be enough

[CHORUS]

By a perfect God [5x]

Be changed by a perfect God
Be changed

The last moment

Quite depressed and sad on what happened between us .

Miss him alot. I found that I couldn't hate him. And I still love him.

This has got to be stopped. Cause it's not going to do my any good, but more harm.

So tonight will be the last night , the last moment of me + him in my own little world.

Then I shall draw a complete fullstop at the end of our story.
Stopped thinking about him and making all sort of guess on him and between us.

cheer- fish

He does not worth my love

I was pretty depressed these few days. 10th day post breaking up .
This morning I woke up, my heart is still aching .
Wondering why he did this to me .

I checked my MSN , and I need to confirm that if he has really blocked me.
Googled how to do it.
Yes, I finally found the answer.
My instict, and logic was right. He has blocked me.

There is no turning back in this relationship.
Looking back at what he has done to me all this while.
I was wounded badly.
felt that I was nothing but more than being used by him to fill up his thirst for loneliness and his desire.
It was a foolish game.

Few days ago, my friend told me that maybe it is not right to comment him in his facebook.
I wanted to delete all the bad comment about him.

But today, I realised that I don't have to do this.
The reason is that he is just a jerk that doesn't deserve my kindness to him.

A jerk that never celebrated his galfren's birthday.
A jerk that never celebrated valentine's with his girlfren.
A jerk that blamed his galfren never go and find him but in fact the gal went to his town and waited and waited till 12.00 midnight everyday till he text that " I am too tired to meet you ."
A jerk that can dump his galfren because he was very troubled by his work.


A jerk remains a jerk.

I just have to wake up.

I guess I was furious not because of breaking up with him, but his behavior of cutting out all contacts, and blocking me without after the break up as if I am a plague or am going after him like a crazy insance psyched .

He text to break up.
that's really gut less of him in facing me.

I was thinking that we still can be friends.

He said yes.

Then the following day he did all these to me.

So he is just a liar . Definitely a jerk.


He still owes me money. Not a big lump sum , but a few hundreds.
It's not a big number for a working man who own a business like him.
But it is a lot for a student who solely depends on loan like me.
My account only have less than 2 figure to survive for the following months till Jan. He knew that. So why don't he return the money to me ? Cheapo.

I guess it was a planned beautiful break up by him but turn out I found more ugliness in him.

My only mistake was putting too much effort and getting too committed in this relationship. Trying to hard.

He is the one who quit.

From today onward, I don't have to feel awkward to face him personally or talk to his friend who is able to affect my evaluation of my performance in the clinic.
I truly know that it was absolutely , 100 % not my fault. His best buddy in the ward was avoiding me and or just plain being unfriendly to me in the ward or in the fac.
Next time when I see him, I will just approach him and say, " Hi , Dr D, how 'ya doing " loudly and let's see what will be his reaction.

And next time if I happen to meet his new galfrens, all I wanna tell her is that --- Good luck and God bless you.


ngo pei si ni, sek si la jin yan!

Cold War

Disappointment

What do you do if your man disappoint you by not keeping his promises?

Should you wait patiently ? Or don't waste your time on him anymore ?

Even though it is just a small thing, we the women do care.

It is not about the romantic dinner that we miss, not about the latest gadget that you promised to buy but you din cause you spent the money for yourself on other stuff and you din care to tell us about that. YOu made the decision. YOU HAVE DECIDED. That's no point in telling us , right ?

It's a reflection on you.
How many promises you manage to keep ?
How many promises that you made you still remember ?
You, yourself is much more important .
You want woman to be selfless
while you yourself being selfish.

It has been a week that you didn't care to called. It's me that call to ask how 's your day.
You said you would called later. That later is one year later, I guess. You never called then.

Go and have your own fun .
It is not the man of your life that you think will walk with you till the end of your life, but God.

Thank God.

Now when shall I learn my lesson?

What a dunk!!!

Time wasted...

Facebook and youtube is really additive... you never notice how times fly .

Tests , exams, orals , assignments, reports, COMPREHENSIVE...

coming back to the reality .

Next time should set a timer when I am on facebook / youtube. Darn it .

Wish me luck.

7 months to the final destination...

Course night 2009 -- The mark of the ending of my 5 year degree

Went to prom .

Many things flashed through my mind.

The slides presentation did not really make me move.

Maybe there 's not much of my memories here.

I am not a somebody here.

5 years ....

Is a long way... not too far away....

Friendship comes and goes.
It's up to us to maintain the relationship.
Nothing last forever, except the love of God.
Most importantly,
I hope that I will not lose myself again
In whichever path that God lead me to
To discover what really lies in me

It's not how much I earn
It's not how well I am
It's not how smart I am
It's not how wealthy I am
It's not how pretty I am
It's not about how well-liked I am

It's about the simple things in life
It's about the beauty of this world
of GOD's every creature

It's about how much I do care
I appreciate
all this simplicity .

The man that I love

A glass of wine, whispering bossa nova,
dancing slowly through the melody
With the man that I love

The man that I love
Is neither a perfect man
The man that I love
Nor a romanticist

Oh when that will happen ?
Oh when you will be ?


The man that I love
Makes me cry
The man that I love
Makes me smile

I love him , He loves me too.

The man that I love
Tell his mother
He wanna leave the town
To visit his love one

The man that I love
Though did not leave the town
Sent sms and telling his love one
That he misses her very much

The man that I love
is neither a handsome chap
nor a wealthy man
The man that I love
is a nobody
but a somebody in my heart

The man that I love
is just a man that I love
and he loves me too.

Tag : Joshua @ Hooi Meng

Bleeding heart

Sunday Afternoon

Sunday Afternoon - Rachael Yamagata

It's a choice
to stay
It's a dream
& I wanna wake

You have blood on your hands
and I'm feeling faint
And honey
You can't decide

I'm a drug
Ya don't wanna give up
Smoke your cigarettes
Make your love

You poured blood in my heart
and I can't get enough
I'm drowning, drowning
and you can't decide

It's not about geography, or happenstance
you need to fly, & take a chance
You don't need to soar to emptiness
Float on high, & forever dance alone

Your scared, scared, scared
cuz I feel like home

Hear your voice
Knew right away
If you were here
your eyes would say

There is blood on my feet
as I'm walking away
Rivers are red
Its starting to rain

I'm not gonna live for you
or die for you
Won't do anything anymore for you
Cuz you leave me here on the other side
You leave me here on the other side


Not gonna shed one more tear for you
shed one more tear for you
I'm not gonna shed one more tear for you

At least not til Sunday Afternoon
Sunday Afternoon

Leave or Stay
Leave or Stay

What if...

What if ...
What if we have never met ?
What if the flower never blossom?
What if the race has never started ?
What if we never fought before ?
What if you apologize?
What if I din turn off the phone?
What if we still love each other ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
There is no more what if ...
We know it very well.



What if.... when there is no more what if .

The End of the Chapter...

Cheer Chan
Finally
You stop calling
Stop asking
Stop concerning
Stop quarreling
Stop fighting
Stop texting
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...
From today onwards,
there is no need, and no haste
to wait for
your call
your sms
to reply
every single word that you say
to replay
every single moment
about you

Thank you for giving me the space
Thank you for letting go
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...

So now I can stop
Thinking about you
Crying for you
Aching for you
Changing myself
into someone that I hardly know
for you
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
... ...
New life
New Air
A Brand new me.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
We can't tell what's the future holding for us
The End . The Beginning ?
Love me not ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Maybe it 's not important anymore
At least
I can rest my pain
for the timebeing.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Thank you for loving me so much
And hurting me so much
Both of us are merely immature beings
Living in their very own little world
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
What you wants is not what i want...
What I want is not what you want...

Song for J

Even So - Rachael Yamagata

"Even So"

You're gonna hate me when I tell you everything
You're gonna question whether you really know me at all
You will revisit every smile, and where it fit into the day
I know this is how it will play
And I try, oh I try to think of all the things
That I could do to let you know that I love

Even so

I was not looking to do you wrong
Was not looking for a change of scenery
Don't remember where, or when, or how I did
But I'm hoping you'll forgive me
And I try, oh I try to think of all the things
That I could do to let you know that I love you

Do you remember how we'd run in the summertime
Do you remember how we'd run in the summertime

Oh I try, I try so very hard
And I cry, I cry so very much
For I love you like you'll never let yourself feel again
I love you like a brother and a friend
I love you with my whole heart until it bends
I love you like a lover until the very end

But I'll always think of all the things you did
To let me know that you love me
But you're leaving

Even so

Song for J

Reason Why - Rachael Yamagata

I think about how it might have been
We'd spend out days travelin'
It's not that I don't understand you
It's not that I don't want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
And we hang our heads down
As we skip the goodbyes
And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

I'll buy a magazine searching for your face
From coast to coast, or where ever I find my place
I'll track you on the radio, and
I'll sign your list in a different name
But as close as I get to you
It's not the same

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
As say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

So, steal the show, and do your best
To cover the tracks that I have left
I wish you well and hope you find
Whatever you're looking for
The way I might've changed my mind,
But you only showed me the door

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
And say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I, you and I, you and I know the reason why.

a little bit down this morning
missed my dateline
for my assignment

but your concern
your sis was sitting beside you

Don't you know that a little gesture
can make a big difference
It's heaven
but now it's hell

Just a gal
need a lot of love
calling out for love
wanting love
------------------------------------------------

Happy that I finally got some time
for myself

It has been a long time
since
I can have a cup of hot tea
sitting by myself
In an empty hall of mine

No intruders
No interupters

But there is freedom
and satisfaction

Just me and myself
my pc
and a playlist
iron and wine

perhaps what's lacking
just a glass of wine

A perfect afternoon
A perfect rainy day

though there was
a little crack in this morning

It's a peaceful afternoon
though I have canceled my plan
to go for shopping

It's a peaceful afternoon
though he didn't call nor sms
(or lucky he didn't call )

It's a peaceful afternoon
and I am pleased

For my heart is filled
For God knows what I need the most

It's nothing else,
But this peaceful moment.

Amen.

Naked As We Came (Album) - Iron And Wine

Everyone is moving ...
Are you
Part of the game
Did you win
or lose

Did it hinder you
from moving forward
oder holding you back
from advancing

Is this a joke
or a blessing
Pain and sweetness
intertwine
Twist follows twist
Thirst for more
Losing more of self


Where are you heading to
where are you going to
what's going through

not within ya control
not within ya expectation

do you wanna let it go
or hold on it
tighter
the merrier
the crazier
the more hysterical

The closer
the further
the more you know
the less you know

strangers
to lovers
lovers
to stranger
??

tears to laughter
laughter to tears
??

Cuddling together
both on heaven
pushing away
to the deepest vale

hello or bye
bye or hello

silence
silent you fool !!
silence speaking all these while.

dirty linen !!
no dirty linen , but a rift between us



part of life
part of lie

Drowning in this swirl.

Flightless bird, American Mouth

I really love Iron and Wine. His song is so poetic.Listening to his song is like browsing through a movie . I don't have a very strong background of English literature . Below is the interpretation of Flightless bird, american mouth (my favourite songs of his )by darleneinacio that I came across.

I was a quick wet boy diving too deep for coins:
He was a guy that was hard to get and only cared for money,

All of your streetlight eyes, Wide on my plastic toys:
Everyone only saw him for what he had though.

Then when the cops closed the fair:
Then he realized he wanted love

I cut my long baby hair:
he decided to grow up.

Stole me a dog-eared map:
He realized what he wanted

And called for you everywhere:
and started searching for her

Have I found you:
has he found it?

flightless bird:
this fragile helpless thing could it be her?

Jealous, weeping:
he is jealous and sad.

Or is lost you:
Or is he to late?

American mouth:
are is she spoken for?

Big pill, looming:
the thought is hard to swallow

Now I'm a fat house cat:
Now he is happy he can have all he wants

Nursing my sore blunt tongue:
can finally get some rest he don't have to call for her anymore.

Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence ****s:
he watching the other girls try to tell her lies so the can get in.

****ing on magazines:
He knows it's lies

those fishing lures thrown in the cold and clean:
so no matter how much the girls try the are fishing without bate

Blood of Christ mountain stream:
Because what he has is very pure.

Have I found you:
So is she the one?

Flightless bird:
this unlikely creature

grounded:
he is not going anywhere

bleeding:
He would rather get hurt

or lost you:
Well he loss her?

american mouth:
will she find another and be spoken for

Big pill stuck going down:
that would be to hard to swallow

SMS fraud and sleeping police

13 Oct 2008 13:39
As I was focusing on reading in the library, my cellphone sms alert interrupted . A mystery number without ID was shown .



" Congratulations
No'simcard anda
Tlah m-menangi
HADIAH UTAMA
Wang Tunai!!
Rm15,ooo.oo,dr
Syarikat SHELL
Call/sila dail;
017-8311242
Terima kasih"


Oh mine, God is so graceful to me that He knows that I am too late to apply for JPA scholarships! Oh yeah..

Wait ... ...

Isn't it too good to have such a big frog jumping everywhere on the street ? (Chinese sayings, same meaning as in "no lunch is FOC under the sun.")

It is obvious that this sms is 99.99999999999999999999999999% a spam, or a fraud.
But there is 0.00000000000000000000000001% that I might get the money , right ?
Oops, forgot to tell ya , that's in my dream.

I've read many forwarding emails regarding conman using this tactic to bloodily suck all your bloody money from your bloody blood sucking bank account . Usually the hero in the above incidence is tanned-curly speaking English and Malay in the slang of land of giraffe.

I am so excited .

THOU SHALT LODGE A POLICE REPORT .

A firm voice was speaking through my tiny head.

But what if it is real ? Making a fake report is an offence.And I still wanna keep my IC color . Blue is cool.

Home.
(Pressing 017-8311242)

And I am still very excited.

I mean, hey, what should I expect if I called ?
Sexy voice asking for my room number ?

Mr Conman: " Selamat petang. Ini Syarikat ....(he was mumbling )

Me : " Ya. Good afternoon. May I know who is on the line ? "

Mr Conman : " Apa? Cakap Melayu boleh ? "

Me :" (shit, my BM tak boleh pakai one ) Emm..Siapa yang tengah cakap ini ? Tadi Saya dapat satu sms dari nombor ini -0178903136. "

Mr Conman : " Oh ya . Anda telah memenangi RM 15000 dari Syarikat Shell ..(mumbling again)... Maxis Celcom simcard...(mumbling again) Ini Cik apa ? "

Me : " (Duh.. tell me ya name la, idiot) X. Siapa yang tengah cakap ni?

Mr Conman : " Lanjit .. "

Me : " Huh ? "

Mr Conman : "Ranjit . Ini cik apa ni? "

Me : " (Duh...) XXX..... (waiting for him to continue the conversation)

Mr Conman : "(Very excited)Encik, boleh ... (mumbling again)telefon nombor ? "

Me : " huh? "

Mr Conman : " Telefon nombor "

Me : " 012-4.......(mumbling my number so that he can't get it."

Mr Conman : " (Pretended that he got it) Bank account mana ...(mumbling again).."

Me : " Aeon. "

Mr Conman : " Bank account (mumbling again) wang masuk .... (mumbling)" <>

Me: " Sorry, ni syarikat mana ? "

Mr Conman : " Ini Syarikat SHELL minyak.... (mumbling again)"

Me :" Mr Ranjit ,may I know which department you are working in ? "

Mr Conman : " Ini Syarikat SHELL minyak , Jalan Damansara, KL ...(Mumbling again) " <>

Me : " Sorry Mr Ranjit . I got an incoming call right now . We continue it later , kay ?"

Mr Conman : " huh? Melayu , Melayu ."

Me : " Incoming call , incoming call. Bye. "


Without any hesitation, I headed off to the nearest Police Station to lodge a report... ...


Continuation...

The police asked me to write down whatever my concerned was. That's it. And they even commented that I should have just leave it alone , ignore the phone .

Hello, I think I was just doing what a responsible "rakyat" will do. This need to be reported , and (so) the police carries out their duty to track and keep these unscrupulous people in jail. It's crime. Prevention of crime is important .

Wake up! Wake up! You sleeping people.

Pissed. Angry. Sad. Disappointed.

CHerry... YUI..in Quran

Life.. YUI

Goodbye days

Yui - Goodbye Days / lyrics

Dakara ima ai ni yuku
So kimetanda
Poketto no kono kyoku wo
kimi ni kikasetai

Sotto boryu-mu wo agete
Tashikamete mitayo

Oh Good-bye Days
Ima, kawaru ki ga suru
Kinou made ni
So Long
Kakko yokunai
Yasashisa ga soba ni aru kara
La la la la la with you

Katahou no earphone wo
Kimi ni watasu
Yukkuri to nagare komu
Kono shunkan

Umaku aisete imasu ka?
Tama ni mayou kedo

Oh Good-bye Days
Ima, kawari hajimeta
Mune no oku
All Right
Kakko yokunai
Yasashisa ga soba ni aru kara
La la la la la with you

Dekireba kanashii
Omoi nante shitaku nai
Demo yattekuru deshou, oh
Sono toki egao de
"Yeah, Hello My Friend" nante sa
Ieta nara ii noni

Onaji uta wo
Kuchizusamu toki
Soba ni ite I Wish
Kakko yokunai
Yasashisa ni aeta yokatta yo
La la la la good-bye days

Goodbye to you

And of all the things I believed in,
I just wanna carry in you; your eyes,
You spawn behind my light is but I do night cry,
Come each day past me by,

I’ll been shorting Eden my soul,
Using a heary and I’m stroting to get old,
You life I’m surfing, I’m a over again,
Last be in past me by,
And I say— right

Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything, what I do,
You would like to learn I cry
Hoping that I try to hold on to

Oh oh woah oh

And the horns want everything
And nothing gets the same sign

I want what’s yours and I’ll what was mine
I want to, and never give in disguise

Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything, what I do,
You would like to learn I cry
Hoping that I try to hold on to

Hoping that I try to hold on to

Hold on to

Oh oh woah oh

And let the stroke pass by the life thick
You’re none shooting star

laugh away.... YUI

Yui summer song + laugh away

YUI summer song ....

Things that you will never thought of .. but now you are part of it...

How many of us have this sort of experience or feelings ?

Just a few updates for u... ...

Yes , now I memang " lai ye " liao... who will think that I will be uh hmm.. in love with that not- so - good - looking guy ?

I guess this is how amazing that God put two unrelated person together .. not really unrelated la.. it is just that I never notice that

I remember that's a chain letter saying that don't forget to smile , coz you never know who will be falling in love with your smile.. so keep on smiling.. Think about it , all single out there!

So the next thing to do is ??

So the guy ain't your type...

He isn't your type because he looks fugly?
Or is it because of the way he carries himself ? His thought? His behaviour ? His demeanor?

It is cool to keep a caring friend like him, but wouldn't it be unfair to the guy ?

Hmm...

I guess it is good to make things clear ...
But bear in mind that don't judge a book by its cover.

Honesty may not be the best policy as it hurts sometimes, but it reflects on us.
What comes around goes around.

We can't tell what may come tomorrow, but we know what's now.
Open up to all sort of possibilities, in the future.
But for now, be truthful to yourself.

What do you think if you was in their shoes?

What's next?

You find this guy is kind of caring over the phone...
You find this guy is sort of out of your taste over the first date...
He is a gentleman, but the minute you look at him, you feel like vomitting.

So what's next ?

What does it mean

When someone ... ...

calls you sweety while messaging you?
gives you a call almost every single night ?
starts expecting text message from the somebody?
asks when are you coming back?
says what else do you want to know about me?
tells you the his/ her own stories ?
texts you " I 'll call you"?
offers to bring you out for food when you're home?
wonders what you are doing in the other end of the world?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
tell me , oh tell me, what's lingering in that somebody's mind.

未完成 -------致 dee dee

记得你来临 你是我唯一
冲向我怀里面 就在那一夜
偷偷夺我的吻 那是唯一
也只有你回应我心里所有的痕迹

你癞在地上 像一只猪趴
傻傻地看着我 往我脚扒一扒
轻轻吻吻你小熊 那是你唯一
的玩具 也是我唯一对你的思忆

你现在离去 留我在这里
剩下的回忆在那孤独的寂寞里
狠狠向我偷袭
不住地想你 你现在过得快乐吗
浩浩去 我的爱 sweet memories.

sweet memories--olivia ong

Romaji:
Natsukashii itami da wa
Zutto mae ni wasurete ita
Demo anata wo mita toki
Jikan dake atomodori shita no
Kanji:
なつかしい痛みだわ
ずっと前に忘れていた
でもあなたを見たとき
時間だけ後戻りしたの
English:
It's the nostalgic pain
That had forgotten longtime before
But when I looked at you
Time just went backward

Romaji:
Happines? to kikanaide
Uso tsuku no wa jouzu ja nai
Tomodachi nara iru kedo
Anna ni wa moeagarenakute
Kanji:
幸福？と聞かないで
嘘をつくのは上手じゃない
友だちならいるけど
あんなには燃えあがれなくて
English:
Don’t ask (about) "Happines?"
(I’m) not good at lying
If (it’s) friend then (I’ll be) there
(It) won’t be flare like that

Romaji:
Ushinatta yume dake ga
Utsukushiku mieru no wa naze kashira
Sugisatta yasashisa mo ima wa
Amai kioku sweet memories
Kanji:
失った夢だけが
美しく見えるのは何故かしら
過ぎ去った優しさも今は
甘い記憶 Sweet memories※
English:
Only the lost dream which
Looks wonderful, don’t know why
It passed gently, and now
Sweet memories. Sweet memories


Don't kiss me baby we can never be
So don't add more pain
Please don't hurt me again
I have spent so many nights
Thinking of you longing for your touch
I have once loved you so much


Romaji:
Ano koro wa wakasugite
Itazura ni kizutsukeatta futari
Iroaseta kanashimi mo ima wa
Tooi kioku sweet memories
Kanji:
あの頃は若過ぎて
悪戯に傷つけあった二人
色褪せた哀しみも今は
遠い記憶 sweet memories
English:
At that time (we were) too young
By mischief two people got hurt
The sadness have fade now
Distant memory sweet memories

So the whole lyrics :
Natsukashii itami da wa
Zutto mae ni wasurete ita
Demo anata wo mita toki
Jikan dake atomodori shita no

"Shiawase?" to kikanaide
Uso tsuku no wa jouzu ja nai
Tomodachi nara iru kedo
Anna ni wa moeagarenakute

Ushinatta yume dake ga
Utsukushiku mieru no wa naze kashira
Sugisatta yasashisa mo ima wa
Amai kioku sweet memories

Don't kiss me baby we can never be
So don't add more pain
Please don't hurt me again
I have spent so many nights
Thinking of you longing for your touch
I have once loved you so much

Ano koro wa wakasugite
Itazura ni kizutsukeatta futari
Iroaseta kanashimi mo ima wa
Tooi kioku sweet memories

Ushinatta yume dake ga
Utsukushiku mieru no wa naze kashira
Sugisatta yasashisa mo ima wa
Amai kioku sweet memories

Song for Dee Dee

Always on my mind

Maybe I didnt treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didnt love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind


Maybe I didnt hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
Im so happy that youre mine
If I make you feel second best
Girl, Im sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind



Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind

Yet , another history for Boleh-land

GE is over.

For now, who's the winner/ loser does not matter anymore.

We expect to see a better future in Boleh-land.

Hope this time when we say boleh, we really mean it.

As a friend for JT, I am sorry, but I believe that you and your family will be alright. We are always friends, no matter whom you are, from where you come , to where you go, where you stand .

Let's not forget that be humble , honest and work hard for the people of Boleh-land, regardless of their origins n their beliefs; Let's not forget that it's not a game of revenge, but a time for a change, a lesson to be learnt. Please do not spread any rumour, do not talk so big and so loud , do not show off, do not be flame the fire of green eye monster.

We need to work together, as a big and harmonious family.

Stay cool, stay calm.

Give 100% to the people, for God shall reward you ten times better than you 've expected / given.

Say no, to back-fire!

Peace ...


God is watching us.DeeDee is watching us.

Amen.

I'll be fine

Dear Friends , sisters , buddies ,

It's almost a week since Dee Dee has gone . Finally I have the ability to control my lacrimal gland from overflowing by its secretion aka tears.

I was in the dark. I was not able to eat properly.
I lost my focus during lecture.
I saw Dee Dee whenever I rode, I walked, smiled, talked
whenever people talked,
on the screen,
in front of my lecture hall.

I stopped studying, doing my revision / homeworks/ assignments for one whole week
As I couldn't focus
I slept early, in order to stop myself from thinking too much.

I lost my interest in reading up the current issues
Not in the mood at all for General Election

Masked myself .

But each and everyday,
I am getting better.
I have to.

I must not disappoint you
I have promised to bring back the " happy " Melissa

Now the alarm has rung,
As GE is over,
As Prokasih's surgery is approaching
Mel shall be back to normal
To serve the animals

Dee Dee, you are always on mind
I shall never forget you.

Once again , I would like to say a big THANK YOU
to all who care, leave a note/ message to me, called up, or give me a pat
esp my family- M, D, Snake, Bear, Yasmine,
My best chums - SY, Mei, XY
Closest vetmates - LC, CX, SZ, FT, Mel,ST, CC, JC, Sly,Nic, JV,Jeff
Seniors- Dr Choy n Dr J.Loh
My roomate- CS
and many others
and sorry too, if I made you feel bad
You are angels sent from God, Amen.

Let's us pray for the best
For Malaysia, for the people, for the strays
For Penang, and for Prokasih.
May peace be with you.
May all the strays can get the best from us,
May Prokasih has a smooth and successful operation

Amen.

Love you guys.

God bless you

To Dee Dee

今天我又进步了。

对你的思念并没有减少。

眼泪是流得较少了。

可以控制自己的情绪，埋头于工作里。

还有一大群的猫等我来处理。

我不可以不留神。

它们的生命也很可贵。

虽然都只是野猫。

回到家中，又回到了思念你的漩涡里。

遇见旧友，谈到了你，他们不知道。

我尽量维持谈笑风生

我的悲伤， 我一个人当。

想念你起舞的时候。

Dee Dee, May I ?

onul-bam kudae-ye gyote
cho arumdab-ke su nohwajin Rainbow
irohke tang-shinul kkung talmun
nae nun sogen nul kadukhiI love to dance with my deedee
I love to share with my lovin’
I keep my secret safe
And sound with my dee
How do you feel?
How do you love?
Shall we dance with me?

Dance with my deedee
I love to share with my lovin’
I keep my scret safe
and sound with my dee
How do you feel?
How do you love?
Dance with my deedee

I love to share with my lovin’
I keep my secret safe
And sound with my deedee
How do you feel?
How do you love?
Dance with my deedee

I love to share with my lovin’
I keep my secret safe
And sound with my deedee
How do you feel?
How do you love?
Dance with my deedee
I love to share with my lovin’
I keep my secret safe
And sound with my deedee
How do you feel?

To Dee Dee

You always a shining star
In my heart
Brightening up my sky
In the dark
Miss you so
There will never be a 2nd you...

I will work hard
to live the way you want me to
There are doubts in my life
Life seems to be much more lonely
When you are gone

Miss those days when we dance
We laugh
We play
Together

Now you are gone

You make me realise that
Life is so short
Life is so fragile

I guess I need someone to take care of me
When you are gone...
You are gone.

还是会寂寞

昨天的自己比前天的我 进步了。

至少我已可以和别人稍微谈一谈你离开的原因。

我可以向教授请教及研究是什么令你离去。

我不再生气。

我开始进食。

没有你的时候，

我还是会寂寞。

在天堂的那一角，

你快乐吗？

虽然圣经里没说你会去到上帝那儿，

他们说爱会把你带到他的身边。

我好想你。

To Dee Dee

Dear Dee Dee,

Could you listen what I wanna tell ya?
Could you hear me ?
I miss you, truly, madly and deeply.
Though people keep telling me that don't be so sad.
I just couldn't contain the emotion.
I tried hard to hold on... holding on hard..
I saw you walking on the street,
Chasing after me behind my bike,
Welcoming me home when I open the door,
hug me close when I sit down,
Waiting for me at the staircase.

Would you forgive me
that I didn't see you for the one last time ?
Would you forgive me
that I couldn't do more for you?

Just wanna be with you now
But now you are gone

When you feel lonely and afraid
come to me and let me know,
Just like when I feel the same way,
I shall be missing you

I 'll pray for you
And you'll be watching me from far
though now I couldn't feel you with my hand
I'll pray that our Heavenly Father will watch after you

Come to Jesus, Come to Jesus
My wearied Dee Dee.

In memory of DeeDee
My love.

Mel

Now nothing can I do for you.
But , I 'll pray that Lord will open the door for you.

Heavenly Father,
To where Dee Dee is going to now ? Will you send an angel to guide her on this journey ?
I pray that You will bring her to a happy place. And we shall be united in thy side one day.
Amen.

Mel.


Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
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Goodbye , My love

The time that we spent was too little.

The night that we had were scarce.

The photos that we snapped were few.

You were my reason to home.

You were my source of sunshine.

You took away my heart.

You took away my first kiss.

I hate myself now

why do you have to go away?

What had held me from reaching out to you

When you need me the most

When you were at the weakest point of life?

I couldn't stop blaming myself

Isn't my fault when I had doubts

I prayed to God

I trust God

I don't know why He wanna take you away

Shed me some lights, cause I need to know why

The price is too high

What is left for now ?

I must think of you every day, every night

Cause what 's left for me now--

Your sweet smile,

Your naughtiness and innocence

The warmth you gave me in the night

how you woke me up in the morning

how you laid down on my laps

how you happily jumping on my legs

how you welcomed me home

how you greedily begged for food

how you loved me to bath you

how you played with the water hose after every jog

how you slept on the floor

how you lay on your back and asked for more scratch

how I had your hair cut

how I clean your ear

how I feed you food, medicine, and your favourite snack

how you watched me online

how you be so jealous when Yasmine hugged me

how you barked

how you hide when my friends came in

every breath of yours that blown on me

every kiss that you gave to me when I was down

how you chase , search , chew and hide your favourite toys -pink and brown bears

how you asked me to play with you and your bears

how you investigated me when I was home after a long time

I shouldn't stop missing

These are the pictures that you leave for me,
the only pictures,
that I have

now and forever.


Dee Dee , you are not my pet.
You are my family.



R.I.P
02.13.2005- 03.03.2008. 1645.

Happy birthday mommy

Today is my mom's birthday.

Mommy, missing you much.

I also wanna thank God, for His mercy , and His faithfulness.

Just got to know that my mom flew to S'pore to visit my little nephew and my dearest sis, and Dan BIL.

I was so upset the past few weeks, I thought that mom wouldn't have the chance to do it so , as there was some emergency at home.

Then, things turn out so right, but God just like to keep it as a surprise to me!

My aunt took the initiative to invite my mom to fly to Singapore with her, and she assured her that Gran would be fine as other uncles and aunties would take good care of her.

Never cease to believe in the "goodness " in people. It's a lesson that my God teaches me .

A Living Prayer

By Alison Krauss



In this world I walk alone
With no place to call my home
But there's one who holds my hand
The rugged road through barren lands
The way is dark, the road is steep
But He's become my eyes to see
The strength to climb, my griefs to bear
The Savior lives inside me there

In Your love I find release
A haven from my unbelief
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee

In these trials of life I find
Another voice inside my mind
He comforts me and bids me live
Inside the love the Father gives

In Your love I find release
A haven from my unbelief
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee

Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee

I am weary, and so I lay me head on Your hands.
Let me be.. let me be.. the one you want me to be.

10:45 pm While studying for my anesthesia and surgery, received a sms from my aunt.

" pls mind your words n bear the consequence b4 u wrote the blog ."

Really appreciate her reminder .

The purpose of me starting of a blog was to use it as a platform to express myself, a true myself .

All the words in the blog are just another me , but a real me , that is not usually shown to other people in my real life..

I call it an escape of the other self.
I believe that everyone needs a channel , to express him-/herself.
There are moments when I cannot tell those dirty jokes with my colleagues / family... there are moments where I can't tell my problems to my friends and family as I used to keep things to myself, especially my sadness , my worries, and my emotion , as I personally feel that even friends can be bored of my own self-pitiness ; everyone have their own problems, why do I want to burden them ? Sometimes I want to share these pieces of me with others; some times I wanted to be heard .

However, people that read blogs are different. They might be someone that you know, they might be strangers to you.. but when they read my blog, I know that these are the people who feel free and care , at least for that few minutes . I find comfort when people read my blogs or leaving comments on my blog . Thanks :D Yeah, it's you..

Of course I might not be using the proper words. Sometimes, I vent my anger on the blog, and somebody is hurt . True self.. human being , selfish... greedy... angry...sad...jerk... stupid.. smart .. clever... self-centered ... inconsiderate ... That's nature of human, regardless of the beauty / ugliness. Hence, take it seriously and easy.. It gives you a picture pieces of puzzle that forms a man; we should enjoy the art of it! (as if visiting an art gallery/ exhibition)

Anyway, this is how the blogs work , isn't it ? If you find this blog is offending you, then just leave and don't read it . Most of the bloggers, inclusive of me never point to a particular person with a real identity on the blog ; we usually talked in a very general term. Maybe we are not even talking about you at all, but if you perasan.. then I have nothing to say so. But if we are talking about you, and you realise it, maybe it's time to ponder upon the reason behind these.

No doubt that I must admit that there are people that like to blackmail the innocent one. Sometimes what the blogger says on their blogs is not true . If so, you can either clarify it in a decent way(though firing back is more " qi kek" ), or wait till the bad guys got their own punishment till the end of the day. What goes around comes around .

Or let time do its job... I always believe that the longer the time ,the better you'll know someone. As the chinese saying goes , " You' know how good(strong / powerful ??) a horse is after a long journey "

Personally feel that shouldn't stab back the bloggers... " yam yam sap sap " .... very "siu ka", it reflects on you.

Don't be sad / angry if other have prejudice on you, as those who knows you, will knows you; those who don't, merely a passenger that we meet in our life, a passenger that gives us a chance to mold and strengthen ourselves .

I want to remember this moment

8:30 Feeling uneasy ...
8:45 weird feeling (my nephew is born!)
10:30 Bear called . Let me know bout Ethan-- my lovely little nephew ..
10:45 Jumping around and ask my room mate to congrate me


Hahahahhahahahahahahaahhahaha...

Time to celebrate for a new life is born!

Amen!

我要记住这一刻，因为他的来临。小生命， 喜悦。
阿姨和你一起努力！
爱你哟！

What should I do?

What should I do when I got to know that my Gran is dying ?

Chronic Renal Failure. Required blood transfusion now..basically these suggest the condition is quite bad .

I am not cursing my Gran ... cause CRF is a one way ticket.. It's just a matter of time , that determine how fast the progression of the disease is taking up her life.

I can hardly think properly now. What should I do ?

As a granddaughter who is away from home now, as a Christian whose Gran is a non-Christian does not like Christian at all ?

I don't understand what are you waiting for?

Should you have an old granny at home who is diagnosed of having chronic renal failure, Doc advised that she should be sent to the hospital immediately for blood transfusion. Shouldn't you do it immediately ?

What are you waiting for?
Yes, Granny maybe stubborn, and refuse to go to the hospital. But now what's more important ? Her stubborness or her life ? Shouldn't we act immediately to relieve her pain and suffer ? The longer you wait, the more pain and suffers, and the worse she 'll get into.

No doubt that money is a thing. But hey, general hospital is there!

I don't get it when you said you wanna wait for other siblings reply. It's about life , what are you hesitating?

You said you didn't want to be blamed by others.. No matter what you do, people will still point their fingers to you. So what's the point?

I am disappointed. I am sad. I am angry.

Cause when it comes to life , you can't wait.

I can't bear your ostrich-like attitude.